Gay Men's Challenges Support Group
This community is dedicated to the challenges that gay men face, both between the partners in a relationship and from other influences (family, society, etc.). Find support and talk to others who may be facing the same challenges, and share your experience.
Hey guys, just a question I guess... I am 28 and my bf is 27, we have been together for almost 6 months, and I really do like and love him lots, everything seems to be going great for the most part and we do have our little disagreements from time to time but we talk through them. I guess my thing is that I have a higher sex drive then him, I like to do it lots, and he doesn't and I guess I am trying to get used to it. LOL I get all ready for sex and we do it once and I want to do it more, like 2 or 3 times, but he is done after one time. Sometimes we go a few days without doing it and he doesn't even really jerk off (I do often) and we even had a talk about porn and jerking off and he said it bothered him when I would jerk off when we are together (I should wait for him) lol, but it doesn't always happen... sex is not the most important thing, but it's a part of the package... any thoughts?
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theatre and I are there already. I'm having a very berry tea with crackers, cheese and cherry tomatoes and she's having a joint with some beer and we're both on really comfy recliners on thick pile carpet. we need some help with the decor if anyone is around??
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I'm trying to exercise daily. I was doing fairly well until I sprained my ankle 2 weeks ago but now I'm getting back on the horse. Today I walked over a mile with my arm weights that are about 22lbs total. I was out of shape and it was hard on my arms. I also did my 30 situps. I'm also going to drink a lot of water and try to eat healthy. I do tend to have a sweet tooth but I'm cutting...
I did go through this when I dated (when Moses was a baby). Actually with more than one guy. It seems like I always met men with high sex drives. I was okay with maybe 5 times a week, but they were after me for 2 or 3 times a day.
I think I woulda felt weird if they were jacking off in the bed next to me, and I know I felt resentful when I had sex and wasn't in the mood.
I think it can be worked out as many different ways as there are men. Y'all can even come up with a new one.
After all, we ARE homosexuals....always setting new trends.
My partner and I have been together for 21 years. He is 9 years my senior. I have always had the more amped up drive. We've had to work through exactly what that means several times throughout the course of our relationship.
It goes beyond sex, it is includes how much each of us wants to be touched. I will wither up and die if I'm not patted, kissed and/or hugged on a daily basis and he's perfectly happy to be a porcupine.
Earlier in our relationship I could go from 0 to 60 in about three seconds flat, so he would avoid touching me at all because he didn't want to deal with me being aroused when he wasn't. Of course from my perspective this just intensified my physical need... and at times made me feel rejected.
That state of affairs was not healthy for either one of us. We eventually ended up at a couples therapist to work through the issues we were having as a result of not dealing with our differences over intimacy.
Personally I think your bf is unreasonable to expect you not to masturbate while you wait days for him to get back in the mood. It sounds like he would have a harder time with you feeling compelled to have sex with other guys, so imo he should lighten up.
You are right, sex is part of the package, but I don't think one should underestimate the importance of sex and intimacy in a relationship - how each of you perceives those things and how you can satisfactorily meet those needs for each other.
peace,
Brian
I guess we do talk about it but so far nothing changes, but I will keep bring things up and not giving up! Communication is KEY if things are to work in any area! :)
Hugs and thanks for sharing!