What is that? It actually sounds like a good thing from my (fast) perspective, seriously, no disrespect ment.................

That is inability to orgasim while having sex with a partner or when it takes extremely long time to orgasm while having sex with a partner. Granted most btms do not mind me being able to last as long as they want but it leads to other problems....

I don't but it's a great post and I am anxious to hear what others say.
THX for the post....

"other problems?" just curious, thanks for the information.........

no other problems sexually but it does cause relationship problems and performance anxiety for both partners.

Are you sure you want to be with the person that you are having sex with? Holding back can happen in a lot of ways.

For me, I would try and enjoy it. Long sessions of sex with someone you care about -- nothing to complain about as far as I'm concerned.

The guy I am with is the love of my life otherwise I would not be attempting to resolve this issue. I have had multiple partners in the past and this has been an issue with all of my sexual partners, not really a problem for them other than the fact that I wear them out time and time again. But for the fact I at times can feel jealuos of them for being able to have an orgasm so easily and I cannot. I have ended relationships in the past and cheated on past partners because of this issue thinking to myself that there must be someone out there that can get me off. Having sex to the point that it wears me and my partner out with no end result for me is hard to except time and time again.

Also, from what I understand about this issue is it affects a very small number of men (3%). It is do to some pshcological mental block. Of course I am concerned that once I get past this in my therapy that I will go to the other extreme and have too quick of an orgasm...lol

My heart goes out to you bjincali. I was involved with a partner who experienced the same difficulties. It's not enjoyable for either partner in the long run. Speaking from the opposite side, while I had pleasure a-plenty, I was only once able to "get him off". Part of the pleasure of sex for me is being able to please my partner. While he always said he enjoyed it...Over time, I began to feel inadequate and that I was doing something wrong.

I too had read it was a mental block and went out of my way to make him feel as relaxed and as comfortable as possible on many occasions...nothing I did ever seemed to work. Ultimately we broke off the physical relationship for other and assorted reasons, but I have to say that this issue was a part of why I had to break it off with him. Fortunately, we still remain close friends.

I can definitely feel something in what your conveying, but to me it isn't a big deal either way -- too long, too soon. I think that both ends of the spectrum are just a lot of pressure to be putting on a sexual encounter. Not every encounter has to end in an orgasm either.

I don't think I've ever considered what is too quick or too long when it came to an orgasm.

I hope you can gain some more insight through your counseling, but it truly isn't something that I would stress about.

I don't know how to resolve this either, but I have experienced this myself and I think mine was related to my HIV status. Eventually, the anxiety I experienced related to fear of transmission, performance, the ethics involved in offering myself in a relationship when I thought I was gonna die ... led to my giving up on sex completely.

I hope you'll see a therapist (as well as your MD) about this and not give up, since you do have someone you love and you still want to have sex. I offer my story to say, "Worst case scenario, you can still enjoy life alone" but I think your situation shows more hope than mine. I was already so threatened by men even before it got around to sex that I probably would have been better at being an octopus than a gay man.

Thanks L8Bloomer for your encouragement and understanding some people do not see this as a problem but your experience on the other side of this issue was helpfull. I am currently going to therapy for this condition and have been to my doctor and several urologists with a clean bill of health so it must be a mental block. All I have to say to those who do not see this as a problem is "imagine not being able to have an orgasm yourself EVER!". It took some serious courage on my part to even try to deal with this issue, it was a large leap of faith and a serious web search on the issue. I finally after several months found a therapist with experience with this issue. Hopefully I will be able to resolve this and experience awesome sex for my remainder of my life, I owe it to myself and my partner!

Sounds like you're having problems with your prostate gland. Have you addressed this concern with your doctor? Are you on rx meds.?

Yes, Scottie I have a clean bill of health from my doctor and urologist and neither think that it is an issue with meds I am currently taking. I am seeing a therapist for this to see if there are underlying mental blocks.

To all who may suffer from this condition....Read "Sexual Healing" by Barbara Keesling my partner and I both read this book cover to cover and worked with a therapist IT WORKS! I would not consider myself "healed" yet but sucesses have been made and it is absolutely wonderful! I feel like a virgin who just had sex for the first time!