Anyone out there have rapid cycling bipolar and Seasonal Affective Disorder at the same time? I do and I can barely stand myself right now. I'm cycling moods between about six to eight times a day now. I'm just so exhausted with it. I feel good, then I'm irritable, then I'm level, then I'm irritable again, then I'm depressed, then I'm level and so on and so forth. I try to get outside a few times a day to either sit or move around some. I'm exercising now...or trying to get workouts in. Got a half hour in today. I need to get my diet back on track and I'm having a whole lotta trouble with that. I'm trying but keep failing to stick to the basics. Emotional eating is knocking me over...grazing. Bad behavior. Right now bad thoughts keep flooding my head and I have to wade my way through them so they don't overtake me and make me act upon them. I'm just so tired of feeling the way I do, but my treatment team is on top of it, my psychitrist and psychologist and psych nurse and support worker are on top of this, and the case manager as much as I call him on and off knows bits and peices. I just get so sick of talking about things that are getting to me, yet I want to talk about them, yet I feel alone. My friends that live near me dont' have time to be with me right now. They are all busy right now. I'm just feeling so icky crummy with these moods swings. Sometimes I feel okay and I hang on to those tight but they keep slipping away. Anyone else endure any of this as I do? Any specific coping you do? I feel stuck and alone when I'm depressed and lonely like this. No where to turn or reach out to right now. I feel stuck and I can't be, too much of life is going on to be stuck. Anyone understand where I'm coming from? I dunno if I'm making much sense..I feel like my words are jumbling here. I'ma stop and go to bed...take my night meds and just go to bed. I can't deal with these emotions anymore and I need to just call it a night. Thanks for listening. I appreciate it. If you can relate and offer advice or suggestions on how you deal with this, I'm more then open to it all. Thanks much.
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