This is more important than your son not spending the weekend there. His cousins mom needs to know what is happening with her son. I had a similar problem with my son and one of his friends, I felt bad that I had to break my sons confidence but when I explained it to him he understood.
I would talk to your son and explain the seriousness of his cousins behavior and explain why you have to tell his mom. Hiding this boys behavior only allows it to continue and he could get in serious trouble or wind up with a baby @ 14.
This is a tough situation, I wish you luck
~Wendy

Sounds like your son doesn't want to go anyway since he told you about his cousin's behavior. If you do say something to your cousin, remember denial is deep and she may or may not want to hear the truth. Or... she actually knows and is hoping spending time with your son will be good for her own kid. Either way, above all you know to take care of your son - that's what's most important. Sounds like he's a good kid.

Hi Mary,
Maybe inviting the cousin to your house is an alternative? I think you still need to talk to the other mom, but as Misa said, denial is deep, and you could run into resistance there. Stay strong, your son doesn't need a role model like his cousin. Do you have a good enough relationship with your son's dad to talk to him? After all, it's his nephew.

Good luck, I'll be thinking good thoughts for you!
Hugs! Patricia

Are you kidding me?? You have that small voice warning you Listen to it!! I would tell the mom and also let your son know this is a very dangerous thing his cousin is doing. It could cost him his life not to mention you losing your son too. What if the others want to go out after partyin and your son is with them and something happens and your children are killed? You wouldn't forgive your self! And chance are the other mother might want to know also. Say it this was
" I wanted to let you know how much I love your kids and how worried I am about something I found out. It has come to my attention that your son and some of his friends maybe doing drugs and going to parties behind your back and taking chances with his life having unprotected sex. I would hate to see him hurt in any way or even killed. I thought you might want to know from a family member instead of the police letting you know."
Then let your son knowwhy he isn't allowed to hang with the cousin and all the deadly things that could happen.
And, as far as phone calls find out how to block them and give the mother your cell number in case she need to talk with you.
You could also ask the other mom to have the son stop calling you and your son for a while.
I beleive in prayers,pray before you talk to either of the parties involved.
God be with you!
Take Care
Bonie ( mother of 4.2girls,2boys,3grandchildren)

Thanks. There was NO WAY I was going to let my son go, it was just should I tell his aunt (father's sister) and I thought I should but some people were saying no. Thanks for the imput, I have to call and make an important phone call (about situation). I was just shocked about what my son said to me and I just couldn't imagine the pregnancy scare already and cousin just didn't care. unbelieveable!

Wow, what a mess. I have a teenage son also, so I can tell you this.... these boys are idiots. They sit around and lie to each other so they can look "cool". My dumb-ass son was telling everyone he was in a gang! The boy goes to school and comes home. He doesn't really ever go anywhere. But did tell him that if he didn't quit telling people that, then I would kick his ass and he would be home schooled. I would hear him and his friends talking about all this stupid crap. I told all of them to knock it off before it came true.

The moral of this story.... talk to the ex-in-law and let her know what her son told your son. At the age of 14, I don't believe all of that only because of hearing these dumb-ass boys talking to each other. I did tell these young men (that are our future, yikes!) that if all they were saying was true, I would talk to their parents. And I did talk to a couple of them. They just mainly told their boys the same thing that I told mine... they are dumb asses and to shut up!

Trust me, things aren't that bad BUT you may want to tell the mom because the cousin could be bringing on trouble for himself in the long run.

I have a 13 year old to, scary stuff.. I think you need to call the parents of that 14 year old right away, there is a major safety risk involved with these behaviors.. I would not let my son stay the night with him..

Becca

can you casually print off your son's facebook conversation and mail it to the mom? I did this a couple of times with my teens and it worked really well for me. I simply said.. it's my bill I pay it you have the courtesy of using it...(internet) the other parent was very appreciative because it's all on there... it takes a village to raise a kid!
jenn

Gosh, as a mother of a 14-year-old girl, I can only imagine what a tough situation this is for you! Most parents I meet are really great about wanting to know what's going on with their kids, and band together to keep them safe. But occasionally you run into really clueless parents who are in denial and won't listen for anything!

So I don't have any advice, unfortunately, but I want to wish you the best of luck with this!!

I can't add anything new. Just put yourself in your Husband's sisters shoes. If this was your son, would you want to know? This will be a hard call to make. try not to back her into a corner, as she will not respond well if she becomes defensive. Hopefully a lot of this is just stories made up to impress your son as Kathy stated...

jojo

I'd tell her exactly what you just told us. Then I'd politely tell her that you want to minimize the time they spend together because her son is such a bad influence. You want your son to be raised with more character and integrity....Might wake her up and make her actually start to pay attention to what that 14 year old is doing.