Ok- hello all- Here I bitch and complain in May that my insurance denied my surgery and I fought it with some help from some of you and of course my primary doctor and its next freakin week and I am SPAZZING OUT!!/ I have been reading "Befor & After living and eating well after weight loss surgery" by Susan Leach. I ended up getting bronchittus a few days ago and called my primary and got some amoxicillian and cough sryrup but still feel crappy from the cold part. When I was little when I knew their was something coming up like a field trip at school or a vacation I would end up getting sick and missing it. I feel like that s what I am doing-- I am soo freakin nervous about this surgery/ I definitely want this surgery but I didnt get to my size because I "dont like food" obviousily!! Some close friends took me out to dinner last night and surprised me with my favorite dessert-PEANUT BUTTER PIE and they presented me with a FREAKIN HUGE get well gift- like 10 movies, some magazines, candles, lotions, body scrubs, gift cert to a spa for a spa pedicure, gift cert to Barnes and Noble, books, a huge pretty individual mug, designer pens-- it was sooo thoughtful but I am sooo scared and sad and I haven't even had the surgery. Not ever drinking pepsi again, pasta my favorite,sugar in general--OMG. You see I am soo not into change at all and especially if its dealing with me.. After seeing my primary for my bronchitus- he was like I am soo happy you decided to do this and its the best thing you could ever do for yourself Tracy, etc-- see I feel good when I hear people close to me saying that- that positive talk is the best thing. Everyone on here is awesome and soo helpful but getting it personally is even better-- see I live at home and its no a positive atmosphere at all-my father is a messed up man and he is very VERY emotionally abusive and really cant stand the sight of me so that hurts me inside and my mother is extremely UNHEALTHY. She coulds run a pharmacy out of her bedroom and I dont want to be like that-- I am staying at my sisters for the recovery (while I am out of work) and then home and I am really thinking about moving out but am scared --another change!!! I never have because I am afraid what my father would do to my mother-when he gets into one of his moods,, anyway thats another story in itself-- this is the best thing I can so especially if it makes my diabetes go away but I have no will power and am scared if the surgery doesn t turn out right or if I might have complications in the long run-- no support at all and I'm sure you have guessed it- I am a big baby!! I sound soo annoying and am wasting everyones time right now-- more nervous of the emotional aspect as well-- this will make me a better person, I know it. Thanks for listening and letting me whine once again-- Geez I am soo stupid -- I do know I am grateful for getting this opportunity- i truly know that!!
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