Happy Holidays, I hope everyone is feeling well. I just got over an absolutely nasty bug, it hit me hard. I’m better now, and grateful for that. The stress of the season is trying to overwhelm me, or am I allowing it to try? Every fiber of my being is grateful that I’m not gambling through this time of year. I wanted to post something about my feelings today in the hopes letting it out in writing will work it’s beautiful magic on my mind. I’ve found myself wondering how I got through past holiday seasons while gambling, scrambling and pretending all was well. I know my husband hates it when my depression wants to kick in high gear, he has issues of his own, don’t we all. There, I kind of let if out, and it’s helping already.
This is a hard time of year for so many. Staying involved with reality is detrimental to staying in my recovery. Helping others can be very therapeutic and self rewarding, I love that. I need to remind myself to stay in the moment when my head wants to skip a beat. And to eat! Easy peasy stuff, don’t starve myself.
Thanks for being here with me on my journey to a better way of living and thinking.
Today I will not gamble
I was 9 days clean but then I bought a lottery ticket. why? now 0 days. I feel like I am dying the withdrawl, shame remorse, I havent told anyone out side of my group , I told one couple and they were not nice about it and things are not the same between us. people say I can;t wrap my head around a gmbling addiction. How you could just throw your money away like that I just don't get it....
Last week I celebrated my six month milestone of not gambling. It's crazy how much I feel I've changed in that time. Truly, I feel like a new person. At my meeting last week I shared my goodbye to gambling letter that I may post on here sometime soon. I've been doing some really good work with my sponsor lately and we've had a ton of conversation about fear.I think as compulsive gamblers much of...