Happy Holidays, I hope everyone is feeling well. I just got over an absolutely nasty bug, it hit me hard. I’m better now, and grateful for that. The stress of the season is trying to overwhelm me, or am I allowing it to try? Every fiber of my being is grateful that I’m not gambling through this time of year. I wanted to post something about my feelings today in the hopes letting it out in writing will work it’s beautiful magic on my mind. I’ve found myself wondering how I got through past holiday seasons while gambling, scrambling and pretending all was well. I know my husband hates it when my depression wants to kick in high gear, he has issues of his own, don’t we all. There, I kind of let if out, and it’s helping already.
This is a hard time of year for so many. Staying involved with reality is detrimental to staying in my recovery. Helping others can be very therapeutic and self rewarding, I love that. I need to remind myself to stay in the moment when my head wants to skip a beat. And to eat! Easy peasy stuff, don’t starve myself.
Thanks for being here with me on my journey to a better way of living and thinking.
Today I will not gamble
I'm sick of the bullshit maze of justification I use to shoplift. I'm commiting to 365 days. I'm commiting to be a mature rational man.If anybody else wants to piggy back on this thread please feel free. Just write im clean. I'm fxxx clean !
When i was in action, the dreams were always winning but i could never collect, or it would be paid in vouchers for something i didnt want, or i couldnt find the moneycage - or the money was stolen from menow...w/o gambling in my life, i had a dream i won and won and won and took my vouchers to the cage and paid my credit card bills with the attendant...my subconcious is finally gettin...