Gambling Addiction & Recovery Support Group

Compulsive gambling is an urge or addiction to gamble despite harmful negative consequences or a desire to stop. A preferred term among many professionals is problem gambling, as few people described by the term experience true compulsions in the clinical sense of the word. Problem gambling often is defined by whether harm is experienced by the gambler or others rather...

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Spouse asks questions about DS

deleted_user
deleted_user
Hi Everyone,

I'm pretty new here but in that short time I have found a great support system by daily journal entries, new friends, messages and answering other's questions. DS has really given me a sense of security and I look forward to checking in on DS everyday!
Last night my husband asked about this site. I don't know if I really feel comfortable letting him read my journal (even though all you do) and/or messages. I think he's just curious (not in a controlling way). I think I feel comfortable here because of the anonymity and for him to see my daily struggle with urges would concern he. Everyday he asks, "did you have any urges?" and everyday I answer, "no" because I don't want to disappoint him. I know I should just be honest, but I don't want him to have to worry each day at work because he's gone 14-15 hours a day.
Does anyone have any advice?
deleted_user
deleted_user
If you are comfortable in letting him read it, that is up to you, but to me, i have nothing that my significant other doesn't already know, and its not an issue with us, but this is my private place. To me, its almost like my "Dear Diary", except it has a different lock and key. \
To someone who isn't, or hasn't been thru a personal struggle with addiction themselves, it is hard for them to completely understand. Its almost as though they feel threatened by the fellowship and commraderie that is shared in rooms like this. there is a community on DS for spouses and families and friends of addicts, perhaps he could be introduced to that. Sometimes the things that are shared here between us, are things that could perhaps be misconstrued, and not completely understood. In some instances is can give them things to throw up in your face. It might not be such a good idea, in my opinion, but its totally up to you.
deleted_user
deleted_user
In some ways it's actually a really good thing that he is asking you about urges, it means he is interested in your recovery. You are making daily steps towards change in your life but it is your life and it is ok for you to have a place that is private and just for you.
deleted_user
deleted_user
Thanks so much for the advice Makmarie and Auzgul, it's not that I have anything to hide...I just feel it's too private and I don't want to disappoint him anymore than I already have!
Liz
loosenomore
loosenomore
I would be honest with him when he asks about the "urges", he needs to know this is not easy. As far as sharing DS, I wouldn't. that's just me, but this is my private place to laugh, cry, vent, whatever I need and share with only those people I want to share with.
deleted_user
deleted_user
I would let him know about urges, sounds like he is pretty supportie. The more help you can get the better. However I wouldn't like my partner reading my journal because they are private thoughts.
deleted_user
deleted_user
Why don't you invite him to become a member of DS? I don't think I'd like my husband reading my journal but I wouldn't mind at all if he saw other people's perspectives on this addiction. It could only help him to understand what you are going through, and I would tell him about the urges, but I would also tell him how well you are doing in controlling those urges with his help! This problem isn't just yours it belongs to both of you.
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