Gambling is self punishment but most times we see it as rewarding ourselves. We feel so bad about our losses, our stupidity, our lack of will power and our failures that we kid ourselves into having one more go to feel that high of winning. We desperately want that high to feel better than we do. It isn't much different than drug addiction or alcohol. At Gambling Anonymous they discussed the way gambling addicts projected an image of being 'big shots' to everyone and I couldn't see myself in this way at all. Lately though I have begun to realize that I have kidded myself that I'm some big shot. That I know what is good for me. That I can be a winner. I don't tell others this. I talk myself into it to justify rewarding myself by gambling. Stupid thing is that it is never reward for me. Even if I have a big win, I can never recover what I've lost.I CAN ONLY BE A WINNER IF I DON'T GAMBLE! THE ONLY WAY TO REWARD MYSELF IS IF I DON'T GAMBLE!I AM NOT A BIG SHOT!
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