Gambling Addiction & Recovery Support Group

Compulsive gambling is an urge or addiction to gamble despite harmful negative consequences or a desire to stop. A preferred term among many professionals is problem gambling, as few people described by the term experience true compulsions in the clinical sense of the word. Problem gambling often is defined by whether harm is experienced by the gambler or others rather...

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newbie that is scared

deleted_user
deleted_user
My DH(darling husband) admitted he is CG. This came after really bad "bbokie" binge, losing his job and putting us in unbeleivable debt. I just lost my Wonderful Dad who was also my DHS hero. We are missing my Dad and dealing with uncertainty. My Dh has got another job but it was a huge pay cut. I had just got him on board a tight budget and we were on target to be debt free(except the house) in 2010. Now we are so far in debt that I am scared of losing our house,

My DH never used our bill money for gamling. He borrowed money from his employees, (he was GM of ug company), friends, family(that kept the secret from me) and banks.

Does this madness ever end? I am so scared that recovery is going to be so hard because of our lack of money. The bookie he dealt with was a "friend" that I felt was not a good friend.

He also has so many good friends that gamble recreationally. We have to make a complete life change. Many of those friends have already left our "limo"

My sister put a sign with Phillipians 4:13
I can do all things through Christ who strenghtens me. I know this but I constantly need reminded that God is in control. She also wrote a saing on the sign that says...

THOSE THAT MATTER DON'T MIND THOSE THAT MIND DON't MATTER..

Thank you for your post and support

georgiagam
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Your sister has the right idea...trust the Lord and talk to him directly through prayer...and "LISTEN".
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The lord is great and def. part of GA is finding your higher power. But you need to get him in GA. It is only then you will truly start to recover. Follow the steps and it will be very difficult. But the opposite effect can happen. Just like gambling can destroy everything recovery can have the opposite effect. Please get him to GA and if he put half the effort in to GA and recovery he did into gambling you will see a huge diffrence.
deleted_user
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thank you for your words of encouragement. My DH has already attended two GA meetings. We had to go two hours out of state for the first one because we did not have one here. But through many good friends, we found out last week that GA was starting in our area. He went to the meeting last Monday and loved the 4 people that came. It is just starting so he is in the beginning of a new venture for our area. That will be a great motivator for him.
He says he has not even had an urge. He bet with bookies which is hard for me to monitor. From what I have read on this site, I have to concentrate on getting myself financially safe. He is cooperating. Today we set up a credit check monthly e-mail, and he has agreed (with a little pause) for me to get his checks or have new company auto deposit them. His old company did this so he never spent our bill money. He just got loans. I am still trying to convince him to give up his church position. It deals with a small amount of weekly money that he turns in right after it is counted. I do not think he would ever take this money but I am scared that fellow church members may not deem him trustworthy. I would never want anyone to make an issue about this. Some of our church members know off his illness.

Please add this Georgia family to your prayers and thank you again for your support.

georgiagam
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THOSE THAT MATTER DON'T MIND
THOSE THAT MIND DON'T MATTER..

I don't know why, but for some odd reason, that one is having a hard time sinking in....hmmmmm...is it like it doesn't matter what others think about what's important to you? It's a curios, little saying.

And, WELCOME georgiagam - I hope you keep coming to DS

You asked? Does this madness ever end? For me it has. I don't gamble anymore. The reason I don't gamble anymore is because I am a compulsive gambler, once I get started, I don't want to stop. I cannot gamble like normal people. I can live with that. Gambling took a hold of my life, stealing my soul. My rock bottom hit when I wanted to die, suicidal thoughts, guilt ridden, with good cause. I know there is no cure for my addiction, but I also know now, that there is hope in the form of recovery.

I hope to hear more from you soon. Take care.
deleted_user
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I just read your post about your DH going to a GA meeting :)

That's a positive step in the right direction, he's gonna' learn a lot.
deleted_user
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Yes you can do all things through Christ. Often we try to be so much in control. We need to learn to let go and let God.

Recovery is hard for me. Sometimes I think that if I go just one more time that I can win back money that I spent. That never happens. It's been a few weeks now since I last gambled and I am happy. Certain days I get depressed about other things going on in my life and then that's when I think that gambling will distract me. After I end up gambling, I am more stressed than ever. I have decided to deal with issues and as they pass with time, I get over it.

Stay strong and have faith.
deleted_user
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Your husband has a disease and helping him but not being a co-dependent or negative is best. I urge you to drop the DH (my darling husband) as it sounds like it's coming from a negative attitude. He isn't very loving right now, but he once was I suspect. Help him or let him go before too much negativity hurts BOTH of you. Now the practical side. I am a CG and the two things that keep me gamble free (have no gambled in 11 months) is having "money barriers" and being accountable to my support group and GA groups. Help you husband on these, so he can get into recovery.
deleted_user
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Clarification on my reply. Calling your husband "My darling husband" sound like anger. If this is so you have the right to be angry as heck. However, please take care that the anger does not hurt you further.
deleted_user
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Kannsarah, The DH is sincere and is a copy cat of my financial message board that I joined a year ago. It was not said out of anger or my attitude. I am still in the shock stage and I still love my husband deeply....

You see, a year ago my DH(damn husband or darling husband) and I joined a financial web site because I have a shopping problem. We were working hard toward paying off our debt.

Most everyone has some kind of addiction. My husband is a wonderful father, husband, provider, friend, community leader and much more. I KNOW this is a disease but with other diseases you can treat them and follow some type of progress. I was just asking if the madness subsides.....

Mover..Thanks for the encouraging words.
The saying is used toward friends, neighbors, co-workers, etc. My hubsand had a very high profile job. Everyone is calling and asking questions. He is also in public office and a leader in our church. People love to talk and "throw stones"

Mover and Ker$$..Thank you for your encouraging words. I hope to get my husband on here soon. this is the only web site I have found with help.

gagam
deleted_user
deleted_user
Kannsarah, The DH is sincere and is a copy cat of my financial message board that I joined a year ago. It was not said out of anger or my attitude. I am still in the shock stage and I still love my husband deeply....

You see, a year ago my DH(damn husband or darling husband) and I joined a financial web site because I have a shopping problem. We were working hard toward paying off our debt.

Most everyone has some kind of addiction. My husband is a wonderful father, husband, provider, friend, community leader and much more. I KNOW this is a disease but with other diseases you can treat them and follow some type of progress. I was just asking if the madness subsides.....

Mover..Thanks for the encouraging words.
The saying is used toward friends, neighbors, co-workers, etc. My hubsand had a very high profile job. Everyone is calling and asking questions. He is also in public office and a leader in our church. People love to talk and "throw stones"

Mover and Ker$$..Thank you for your encouraging words. I hope to get my husband on here soon. this is the only web site I have found with help.

gagam
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