I am 22 years old, and have already declared bankruptcy at such an early age. It is my deepest secret that only my mother and father know about. It eats away at me knowing I had the world in my finger tips. I am in my 3rd year of university, and my grades have suffered because of my gambling. I had to take a year off after my bankruptcy, and I am starting a new program. I have an addictive personality and have many other addictions, none being as severe as gambling. Just recently I won just over 24 grand in a matter of two days playing on-line poker. I manage to lose that in 4 hours playing 100-200 limit. It eats away at me knwoing what I could have done with that being from a poor household. I first told myself I'd stop at 10 grand and pay off my osap. I thjen told my self I'd stop at 20 grand and buy a car. I had such a rush playing such high stakes I truly thought I was going to be able to just make money poker, and not worry about any real work. That dream was snapped in half, and I constantly dwell on it. Over the past few weeks I thought I could do it over again, 100 dollars there, 100 dollars here, and I'm down another 2 grand in that time. I sometimes think very extreme thoughts after this, sometimes thinking I will never beat this addiction because it is always there,lingering in the back of my mind. I hope this site will help me one day at a time recover. Thank you to anyone who read this, it feels good to get this off my chest and not hide it deep down any longer.....
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