this gambling addiction is so strange. i can have my mind made up to not go and 10 minutes later i'm in the car headed that way. what a bizarre thing. it's very eroding of one's self esteem. you can 't count on yourself to be consistent. and i notice it's affecting my friendships (not seeing f riends as much, feeling them drift away), and my moods. i'm grouchy a lot more, depressed for sure. and it's progressive. these things are worse than they used to be. my intention is to not go today. i think for today, i can do it. i only need to focus on today. hour by hour, minute by minute. i'm glad to connect here with other gamblers. we have a disease, no doubt about it.
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