I haven't been on here in some time. I'm glad to see some familiar faces doing well and some new ones taking the first step toward recovery.
I haven't gambled since November 2014. In that time my life has completely changed. While it hasn't been an easy road, it's certainly been a worthwhile one. So many things about my life; my mental, physical, and emotional health, financial well being and overall piece of mind have improved dramatically. When I look back at myself as a compulsive gambler it's hard imagining I was once that person.
I am still 2 1/2 years away from completely recovering financially from my addiciton. Even though my addiction still haunts me the lessons I've learned and things I've discovered about myself make me no longer regret what I've been through and the mistakes I've made.
I have accomplished more in the last 3+ years fighting a gambling addiction than I did in the decades prior. Living through this made me a stronger person. When I was at my rock bottom I was financially ruined, six figures in debt, alone, barely able to feed myself or get to work, suffering daily with panic attacks and an anxiety disorder, overweight, smoking, unable to sleep or rest, unable to be productive at work, no friends, lying, stealing, feeling sorry for myself and like I no longer wanted to live, I could have never imagined I'd become the person I am today.
I am not special or unique. Everyone on here has the same strength I did to fight and beat this disease. I believe in all of you. No matter how many times you fail, if you keep trying and keep fighting, eventually you will turn that corner like I did and become a better person for it.
God bless you all and I hope today is the day you decide to take that first step toward recovery.
"Even in our sleep, pain which cannot forget falls drop by drop upon the heart until, in our own despair, against our will, comes wisdom through the awful grace of God." - Aeschylus
Last year around Thanksgiving I banned because I had spent my daughter’s bill money I was supposed to put in the bank, a breaking point I would say. Also I used to go with my sister, my only adult interaction and socializing. But her boyfriend lost his job and she didn’t have time for me anymore so that made it easy to band as well.3 months later February 2018, I went to another casino in a...
In 2011 I got married after being a widow for a while..... A few months after we got married, my new husband suggested we visit a casino about 1.5 hours away. Until then, I didn't even know there were casinos that close to me, because I had never been in one. I remember that first trip very well. Between us, we spent about $60. Fast forward seven years and we both are full...