So, I'm sure I'm going to get a lot of pushback about this but here goes. I am a compulsive slot gambler. I am not an overall compulsive gambler. I don't have a problem with control with fantasy sports or poker or whatever. It's just slots. Those other things don't lead me to slots. For me, they are completely different worlds, different motivations, different feelings, different outcomes. Those other things don't make me feel high, I don't play them with any sort of emotional / addicitive feelings. If I answer the 20 questions re: slots I say yes to 14. If I answer about poker for example I say yes to 4 at most. I realize that for most compulsive gamblers, or maybe for all and I"m not one(?) you can't separate it out like that. It's all or nothing. Which is why I'm posting here. I went to a GA meeting for the first time last week. I had mixed feelings. On one hand, I felt like I really needed to be there, my slot machine habit has gotten way out of control and I do feel powerless to that. I feel like I need SOMETHING to help me beat this. On the other hand, I felt like I didn't belong there. I felt like I would be a cheat if I were to establish a birthday knowing full well that I didn't intend on quitting poker or fantasy football or every single game of change or whatever, just slots. So, I feel like I can't go back because I don't want to be determintal to another person's recovery. I don't know if I'm welcome if I'm not participating 100%. So, I don't know what to do and that's why I joined this. I'm not sure if I'm welcome at GA but I need something. I don't know what other resources are available. Do you? Or is it okay for me to go to GA but not establish a birthday? I don't know.
I’m new here. I could use some friends. I’m making a mess of my life. I want to stop gambling. I feel so desperate. I almost wish this sick feeling of guilt would last all the time because it seems to be the only time I’m confident I won’t gamble that day.
I have been trying to get on a good streak of recovery for a while. Years. Done 40 days without shoplifting. I drink too much some weeks too. I might hit 30 units a week.My psychiatrst/Doctor have given me two pieces of advice.One tell my wife Im still shopliftingTwo-give up the boozeI have diasgreed with both pieces for various reasons. If I told my wife -she would lie awake at night. I dont...