Apparently there are ways of blocking access to sites for gambling online. This might be a solution to you so you can still get the support you need here.
i imagine that your head is spinning, we have all been there. Calm yourself a little and breathe. Take positive steps towards recovery one day at a time. We are with you in this.

i did the same i keep going back..i feel your pain

Heidi - I understand, I understand, I understand EXACTLY how you feel. Online gambling is a daily struggle for me. I think it was wise to cancel your connection, but I would guess that eventually you need the Internet. If not, DO WITHOUT IT. If you need it, I urge you, set up as many roadblocks as possible for yourself. It has helped me more than anything else. 1. Install Gamblock, this will help tremendously. 2. Get rid of your debit/credit cards. Report them as lost. Close the accounts. Without means of funding our playing we cannot gamble online. 3. Eliminate all other means of funding. Do it TODAY while you have this feeling.

Heidi, I know how terrible this feels right now, but you are not alone. We've all been through it a million times. The thing is, you need this feeling. It is your friend. Don't push it away. It is ok to feel this pain for a couple days. In fact, you need to remember how terrible this disease is and how you never, ever want to feel this again. My therapist tells me if we continue to practice changing behavior, eventually it will "stick" and become less painful. Right now it is painful to stop playing, painful to play ... an endless cycle of pain. But Heidi, you can change the cycle. Help yourself out by setting the roadblocks and the rest will get easier in time.

I wish you luck. Keep talking to us. I'm only 3 days GF, but I feel like a new person. I got rid of every card, every means of funding and I feel relief and joy -- SO much better than that awful addictive chace. Try it out.

I feel the same way. You just keep asking yourself, what in the hell am I doing??? Am I stupid??? I live in Vegas (first mistake) and it is so hard to stay away when everything I like to do is in a casino or a bar with machines. I just want to move but, surprise, I dont have the cash!!

I had a bad relapse in November and still feel awful about the thousands of dollars Ilost. I write in my journal here as often as Ican and even though Iamstill in this deep, deep depression, I know I have friends out there. I cancelled my internet service a couple of yrs. ago because of my online gambling...this time Iloaded Gamblock and it works. Can't be tempted by it any longer. It's a monster !!!