Well peeps here I go... I visited Vegas a couple weeks ago and did rather well but of course not good enough! I cleared like 5 grand and if I would have left 2 hours sooner it would have been 12! Yes I dropped 7 grand in 2 hours, I was absolutely devastated! I return home and now I feel I need to make up for the blunder, that money could have made my life a bit simplar to say the least. I then journet to a nearby casino and make a bit of cash over a couple trips but that's where the winning ends! Talk about a bad streak, actually it's all to the simple fact I dont know when or how to stop! Even when I do pry myself from the tables the call too me obsessively! Online casinos are my new thing. I have been up a ton only to end up flat out busted! The funny(not really) thing is that even if I were to win it's not like the pc's gonna spit my money out! It takes a good week to receive it, not that I can ever quit before I'm down a few hundred. I am now at wits end and I do know what the answer is only because of the 12 steps of Alcoholics Anonymous. I really need to accept the fact that there is no fun in this game and ask my God to help me thru this very trying time! All I have done my whole life is substitute one addiction for another and I am now becoming angry yet numb to the losing! I remove the program I re-download it, It's like dejavu for me except it's gambling and not drugs or alcohol! It's time to nip this bitch in the ass before I lose everything. God has blessed me with a gr8 job where I can afford to lose a few bux here and there but not a few thousand. Christmas is right around the corner and I'm losing my kids Christmas surprises to the Gambling Demon. Time to front this m f-in ship and turn make this right with God! I have asked for help but I usually have my fingers in my ears goin"lalalalalalalala I'm not listening to you God!" Ask a question that you dont want to know what the answer is, that's me! I have hit my bottom(for the day) and IO have faith that God can pull me through another "jackpot" of mine one more time! Now here's the catch I have to be willing to let Him help! No dragging my feet kicking and screaming here, although to be honest, that's what I'm good at!(no really I am, LOL) So in conclusion let me just add that there is a strange calm and peace coming over me that is strange to explain but something tells me I'm gonna be O-bee K-bee! For those of you sleeping wake up and join me in this party I am starting called "LIFE" If you're too tired I have big shoulders and I'd be happy to carry you as we trudge this road of Happy Destiny and together "WE WILL MOVE FORWARD"! Thanx for listening, you've been a gr8 audience!
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