As I look back at all this I like so many here ask myself. How did this happen? I like all of you are am a smart person. I went to college obtained my degree as well as my masters moved high up in my career field only to be overtaken by the beast. What caused this distruction in mylife. Was I not happy with my life, was I stressed beyound belief, was there some hole in my life never filled, was I lonely, did I feel like I did not deserve a good life, were there issues in my upbrining that caused this, was it predetermend. So many questions to why but not one answer to why. I went to the casino last night and walked around to I looked at the craps table that I had lost so much of my time, money, marriage, career, now possible jail for. I told myself I knew better than to allow this to happen to me but yet I did. Hind site really is 20/20. Did I gamble of course I did. Did I win of course I did. Did I lose of course I lost it all plus more. So much for self evaluation. The mind is powerfull, how come it wont over come this drive and say the fasest way to win is to stop.
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