I have been fostering two children. One is a toddler, the other I have had since only a few days old. They are siblings. They have been with me for going on 8 months. I am a fairly new foster parent, only been doing it for about a year. Well all along I have been told by all the powers that be that these children were almost a guaranteed fost-adopt case. The mother is mentally ill and has already lost children to the system and the father has some developmental delays and for the most part seems unable to fully handle the two children and this is not my opinion, this is the opinion of most of the professionals involved in the case. However the father has taken his classes that were assigned to him by the courts. Other then that, he has missed an average of 50% of his visits. Well court is coming up for the father and all along I have heard how nobody thinks he would get them back etc. and suddenly now that court is coming up the social worker is saying he might be getting them back and if not then they would give him another 6 month case plan to try and prove himself again. This came as almost a total shock to my husband and I. I am trying to deal with the emotional part of this. I have fostered other children, but never with the thought of adopting so you learn to love them with the knowledge that they will be reunited with the parents in the future. In this case, since we had so much hope given to us by the workers we really really let our hearts get involved above and beyond what we would normally allow ourselves to do. Anybody else gone thru this? Any suggestions? At this point I cry all the time, I understood that fostering is a temporary placement for children until the are reunified with bio parents but this situation caught me off guard emotionally because we were basically told that this was going to end up being an adoption. Please, any advice or support would be so helpful right now. Thank You.
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