Other moms.... I have 4 kids. 2 live with me and my new husband. The first 2, now age 16 and 18 live with my ex 1000s of miles away - I see them once a year. To me, their "unpresence" often feels like death although they are fine and healthy. Not seeing their daily activities, being part of their lives, hurts like hell. The story is more complicated. I actually sent the oldest to his dad because he was so hard to deal with, I was remarried with a new baby and another on the way and he was so hard to be with for me and my new husband that we had him go live with his dad - a man who loves unconditionally and under whose love my son has blossomed and turned into a fine man. His younger brother at some point asked to go to, and I did not put up a a fight (I thought he's hate it and come back but he has not, bad bet for mom here). The bottom line: many things, their old trophies from sports teams, the clothes they left, kids with long hair, anything that reminds me of them can send me into a period of guilt and grief. Not only don't I have them, I am the one who let them go, who pushed them. At first, when my boy moved, I felt relief. Marital strife declined. I was dealing with a newborn who cried 24 hrs a day. Then, I got nuts, diagnosed with bipolar 2 and one medicated, began to deal with what really happened and came down... hard. Does that count? Do you think I fit in your group? So much of my sadness is about not having them with me, not watching them grow. Now they have deep voices and long hair and girlfriends. My babies are gone, never to be again. Years that I will never have. I miss them so.