i have always been ashamed of my eating habits and i knew they weren't normal and i was searching for an idenity to my eating habits when i found ds---and ds took away some of the closet feelings of BED knowing that i am not alone--and while this is just an excuse i sometimes feel that ds has made me feel less ashamed--which is good in one respect---but bad in another--becuase i feel accepted here and the lack of shame---their still is shame---but a portion of it is gone--i feel that my habit is worse becuase i know i am not alone---i don't know if i am making any sense--and i know this community is wonderful---but at the same time i feel that it makes me much more aware of food and that i am much more concentrating on food---but who am i kidding--even if i wasn't a member of ds i would still be thinking about food 24/7---but back to my question where do i start...? i know i should she a therapist or a pyschologist--but i just can't bring myself to that stage---how do i get there...? i just don't want someone to know whats in my head--i guess in essence im not ready to face my inner deamons--what ever they may be--what ever seems to make me eat...but before this gets too long (i'll journal the rest)--where do i start...?
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