i have another person living inside me. she only surfasses late at night, and she has no will power or desire to lose weight. my friend calls her night woman. nightwoman loves sweets (particularly my husbands debbie cake stash) and does not care how much i weigh or how much guilt i will face in the morning for her indulgent acts. last night, night woman ate a soft pretzel with cream cheese on it. (at 3 in the morning) my god, i'd hate to think about how many diet attempts she has sabotaged. the whole concept is so ridiculous, but i cant help but wonder if some part of me wants to stay fat forever. i know when i get up at 3 in the morning and eat, that that's stupid and weak. but i just cant stop myself. i just wreak everything. in a way i want to just give up, quit fighting a be the fatest fat who ever fatted through the fatlands....but honestly i've been fighting so long, i cannot fathom a life w/out it. i'm tired.
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