Big time...I just lost a guy that I really loved because I knew I do so much better when I'm alone. Silly as that is. First when he lived here I felt like he was biting into my binging time. And I was always overly concerned with how I looked..silly again but the pressure I felt to do well drove me into excuse after excuse to get rid of him and he would no more walk out the door and I was in the kitchen.... But when left alone to answer to myself somehow I found it was easier. No pressures and no need to sneak. Not as rewarding......and it was easier to answer to myself than what I thought he was thinking about me.

Yes, but for different reasons. When I was alone in college, I choose my food at the dinning hall. Seeing a buffet with healthy and non-healthy choices gave me options that I choose and no one made me eat anything. When I got back home (Italian family) there was that sense of guilt to eat what others cooked or even eat how much/what/when others were eating. Even if I'm not hungry, I'd sit down and eat with everyone. At college, if I wasn't hungry, then I could do a million other things and no one would be concerned that I wasn't eating. (my dad thinks I'd die if I didn't eat a meal)

I know the feeling Jillian, because I don't eat meat, everyone thinks I need to be fed tons of carbs at any family gathering! They just want to"make sure I am getting enough". lol Yes elephants are vegetarians too, but I don't want to resemble one!

I got married last year, and because the pressure to lose weight for my wedding had ended (i did really well and was slim on my wedding day) my eating got a bit out of control. I binged in the house when my husband was out, and binged in the car when my husband was home. I kept it from him for months but it was hard not to notice the weight gain. H

my experience was the opposite of Amy's. i was married for 16 years and, while i over ate occasionally - like most people do on holidays etc. i never binged. my weight was normal and was constant to within a couple of pounds.

and i've thought alot about why i took to binge eating after my marriage ended. i don't really know for sure, but i suspect the acceptance and love / intimacy and security i experience during that time period, fulfilled me. i think i was trying to replace the intimacy i lost with binge eating.

I never cared how much I weighed.

This past year when I lost all the way down to 129 (at over 6 feet tall) my family did the same thing to me, treated my wife like she was a bad person for not feeding me enough because I was so skinny. That made me resent my family for the longest time.

then when I plumited back up to over 180, my family was like "wow you look good, but you could loose a couple of pounds" either way, fat or skinny, they didn't seem happy with me, or the people around me who thought i should be fed enough...

like EXCUSE ME! I'm a CHEF! I cook for MYSELF thank you very much!! since I was 5 years old!! downright ticked me off for the longest time, and still does sometimes.

Thats when I realized.. Weight doesn't matter when it comes to matters of the heart. Who gives a crap if your 90 lbs or 900 lbs, its whats in your heart that counts.

besides, who says 300 can't be beautiful! am I right Men?!! :) I mean common, who sets the standards?!!

the only thing I care about, when it comes to weight, are health issues.. heart disease, stroke, high cholesterol, etc etc, but if a person weighs 300-400 lbs, and is in perfect health otherwise, then who gives a crap!!! Am I right??

Besides, I've never been attracted to those little scrony anorexic looking ladies with their bones sticking out and cleavage hanging out every which way anyway, thats just downright disgusting! I like a lady with a little meat on her bones. Well that statement may be a little inappropriate, but you know what i mean. Now that I'm divorced I can say that without getting in trouble. hehe. but its true, I mean who cares :)

My problem, is I can start and stop eating when I want to

but I am unable to tell when I am full..

I can eat 20 hamburgers 3x a day and still feel exactally the same after eating them 20 hamburgers, as I did if I had not eaten in 3 days. I don't throw any of it up, it just goes right thru me.

and when I don't eat, like if I skip a meal, I get really sick, light headed and feeling like I gotta throw up kinda sick. its really strange.

I told my sister I had that (who is a nurse) and she's like "oh no, guys who have that illness are big heavy set men, your skinny, you can't have that"

like..steph, common, you KNOW how much I eat, have you ever seen me STOP eating before its time to leave?

She says "no but you have some kind of hollo leg or something".. no steph (sister) I'm tellin yah, I cannot tell when my stomach is full. I have had that since I was a teenager, seriously.

she still don't believe me though. (sighs)

that story, about a hollow leg, might've held water when I was 15, but at 37, that story don't hold water no more. I should not be eating like a teenager at 37 steph, that is NOT normal... (sighs)

t: there is a definite double standard when it comes to eating disorders and body perception. society thinks it is a problem only for women. and while it is more common for women to have anorexia or bulimia or binge eat ... we need to broaden our minds a little and our acceptance, so that men can talk about these issues without people minimizing or even dismissing the problem. it must be difficult for you - you are trying to accept and understand what is going on, and your family dismisses your concerns.

i have met a man who loves my body. i think it's weird, but he seems to like it. the funny thing is that i can eat normally when he's here, and i choose different things when he's with me. when he comes to visit (he lives out of state) i shop for what people might consider to be "normal" food. it might be different when we live in the same house. i won't be able to pretend that i eat like every other person. in fact, i have yet to tell him about this part of me. i'm afraid he'll think i'm crazy.