Food Addiction Support Group
An individual suffering from a food addiction disorder frequently experiences episodes of uncontrolled eating, or binging, during which they may feel frenzied or out of control. They will eat much more quickly than is normal, and continue to eat even past the point of being uncomfortably full. Binging in this way is generally followed by a period of intense guilt feelings...
Let's talk about chocolate.
I once HAD to have chocolate everyday, thinking that I couldn't possibly go a day without it. I was aware of this, and it lingered on my thoughts for my whole weight-loss journey. This happened when I first started changing my eating habits after losing just 5 lbs (quoting directly from my journal over a year ago, July 15 2008): "today is the first day since FRIDAY, that's 4 days ago, that I had chocolate. And I thought I couldn't live without at least some chocolate every day!!!!!! WOO!!!! ^.^"
The next day I believe I had chocolate, but the point is that somehow I was just in a mindset that worked. Well, that was a temporary thing and I went back to my chocolate ways.
9.5 months later, and something like 40 lbs lighter, I realized that "to see what must be done and not do it is a crime." I knew that chocolate was a kind of drug for me, so I gave it up. One month, I said, chocolate-free. I loved it, and decided to extend my chocolate-freeness for June as well as May. I told close friends why I was doing it ("eating chocolate leads me to make bad food choices") and told others that I just wanted to see if I could do it. The most amazing thing about giving up chocolate in those 2 months was the AMAZING feeling I had when I was in a room with chocolate, KNOWING that I was not going to eat it. Me, an emotional binge eater!!!!
In late June I decided that I would lighten up on the chocolate thing come July, thinking that I was being too restrictive (you read everywhere that when changing your lifestyle, you don't have to give up the foods you love). I decided that I would be allowed to eat chocolate when in the company of others.
Well, I spent July 1st, 2nd, and 3rd gorging myself on chocolate. Once the spell had been broken with that first bite of chocolate angel food cake, I was lost. I saw, once again, what must be done.
I'm a woman of numbers and lists and organization, so I was pissed that I had screwed up my run. I was also afraid that I wouldn't be able to motivate myself to go off chocolate on some random day in July (as opposed to May 1st, like before, a beautiful, pure date in my mind). But then I realized. July 4th was going to me my Independence Day from chocolate. I would be free from its control.
As of today, I am a chocolate-free woman. It is October 6th, and I haven't had chocolate since July 3rd. I don't count the days anymore (seeing those dates now, I see it has been over 3 months). I know that this is a permanent thing (solidified by a long email to the direct members of my family explaining why I had to do this) and guess what? I kind of love it.
Love and hugs,
~FS
I once HAD to have chocolate everyday, thinking that I couldn't possibly go a day without it. I was aware of this, and it lingered on my thoughts for my whole weight-loss journey. This happened when I first started changing my eating habits after losing just 5 lbs (quoting directly from my journal over a year ago, July 15 2008): "today is the first day since FRIDAY, that's 4 days ago, that I had chocolate. And I thought I couldn't live without at least some chocolate every day!!!!!! WOO!!!! ^.^"
The next day I believe I had chocolate, but the point is that somehow I was just in a mindset that worked. Well, that was a temporary thing and I went back to my chocolate ways.
9.5 months later, and something like 40 lbs lighter, I realized that "to see what must be done and not do it is a crime." I knew that chocolate was a kind of drug for me, so I gave it up. One month, I said, chocolate-free. I loved it, and decided to extend my chocolate-freeness for June as well as May. I told close friends why I was doing it ("eating chocolate leads me to make bad food choices") and told others that I just wanted to see if I could do it. The most amazing thing about giving up chocolate in those 2 months was the AMAZING feeling I had when I was in a room with chocolate, KNOWING that I was not going to eat it. Me, an emotional binge eater!!!!
In late June I decided that I would lighten up on the chocolate thing come July, thinking that I was being too restrictive (you read everywhere that when changing your lifestyle, you don't have to give up the foods you love). I decided that I would be allowed to eat chocolate when in the company of others.
Well, I spent July 1st, 2nd, and 3rd gorging myself on chocolate. Once the spell had been broken with that first bite of chocolate angel food cake, I was lost. I saw, once again, what must be done.
I'm a woman of numbers and lists and organization, so I was pissed that I had screwed up my run. I was also afraid that I wouldn't be able to motivate myself to go off chocolate on some random day in July (as opposed to May 1st, like before, a beautiful, pure date in my mind). But then I realized. July 4th was going to me my Independence Day from chocolate. I would be free from its control.
As of today, I am a chocolate-free woman. It is October 6th, and I haven't had chocolate since July 3rd. I don't count the days anymore (seeing those dates now, I see it has been over 3 months). I know that this is a permanent thing (solidified by a long email to the direct members of my family explaining why I had to do this) and guess what? I kind of love it.
Love and hugs,
~FS
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A friend sent this to me..As far as I can see, grief will never truly end.It may become softer overtime, more gentleand some days will feel sharp.But grief will last as long as Love does - ForeverIt's simply the way the absence of your loved onemanifests in your heart. A deep longing accompaniedby the deepest Love some days. The heavy fog mayreturn and the next day, it may recede.Once again, it's...
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Today is my 25th birthday, to my somewhat lack of surprise I can see already no one really seems to care. I've always been the kinda person to make sure that everyone I Care about feels appreciated and knew somebody had their back. I can count 4 times this year when I Went out of my way to make sure a "friend" felt good on their birthday, especially if they got left hanging. Its early in the...
Have a great day everyone!! :)
xoxo
I totally agree with you. And something you said that really brought it home to me, is you said "all the books say you shouldn't have to give up the foods you love". I have also read that countless times and I think I may even use it as an excuse to overeat. I guess they should say "you don't have to give up the foods you love... unless you are addicted to chocolate and sugar, in which case you use it like a drug so you should NEVER have it" haha. I think it is so similar to when you're an alcoholic you should never have a drink again - I was thinking that the other day, when I thought of how someone knows they're an alcoholic because the thought of never ever having a drink again is like the worst thing in the world to them. For me, if someone said that about drinking, I would be like "whatever". I don't care if I never drink. But if someone said I could never have sugar again, I thought to myself, I would be scared! shocked! I would say 'what about someone's birthday? what about MY birthday' - the thought of not having sugar or junk actually scares me if I'm honest with myself. And it's exactly what you said, if I get myself to a point where I haven't had it for a bit, I actually start to feel in control again (of course, the fact of leaving it alone for ONE day has to happen first!!), and then I start thinking of the 'everything in moderation' aspect again ... have some... and that's it - back to the craziness again... thank you for your post, this site is helping my head already... I just hope it can help my eating because I know I have an addiction and a problem and I really want to beat it ... how, I don't know though... xxx