That explains the process so clearly... your not alone!! I wish I had an easy answer for you. Im afraid Im still looking. I too have been having that problem for two years. At first I kept telling myself I would get back to where I was..everntually eating healthy and some restricting but not to a point of the need to binge. But never made it yet. Its getting better though and this site has helped me more than anything else. They are getting further and further apart. Good luck...

I totally understand everything you just said. i just finished a binge and feel like shit.

Ha wow thank you so much...I posted this entry twice thinking that no one would bother reading it..but I see that there really are people who care! It's funny, because my exboyfriend used to joke that I was "addicted to food"...I don't think he realized how serious the problem actually was.

GF-You arenot alone...COE is a real dis-ease...I have found that it is so much more about what is eating you than what you are eating...However, refind carbs and high sugar in the foods u r eatting are playing with your body chemistry which makes u feel yucky when you try to stop...
Be True to You!!!
Peace,
Nicol

I know what you are going through. I was scared that I was the only one doing this. It happens to me like almost every week now. I'll begin the week eating healthy and working out but then somehow by the end I start bingeing. I'll eat thousands of calories worth of food and I don't ever feel full. I only stop when I run out of food to eat, other wise I would keep on going. This binge eating is ruining my life, I have gained 40lbs since feb and have gained a total of 85lbs in the past 4yrs. I have always had weight issues because I used to be bulimic for a long time and I thought that I was fat and I really wasn't but now I am 190lbs and I really am fat and that is all due to my binge eating. I don't know how this binge eating started. I'm not a depressed person. I am happy with my life. I do go through normal stressors of life and I have stress from school but nothing major. I was bulimic for a long time but I got over that and I finally accepted my body. But now the only reason I am sad is because I am so fat and that is due to my binge eating. I just don't know how it happens. When I'm alone, something inside of my just clicks and says go eat and then I keep on eating. And another thing I do is when I eat my regular meals, I just totally over eat. I'll eat several servings and I won't be able to stop. It's gotten so out of control that my family has told me to stop eating. All I think about is food. Whenever I go out, I always want to go get food. I like going grocery shopping because I get to buy food. Food is just always on my mind. I don't know how to stop this because this is causing me to gain weight and I am not used to being this big and I have such low self-esteem now. I've even tried to throw up the food but I can't do that anymore. I am getting so fat and I don't know what to do. How can I stop this bingeing and over eating? I wish I could just eat like a normal person. I want to be friends with food, not have it be my enemy.

I don't think in my case its really food that is my enemy ironically enough.. its ME who is my enemy, very hard to have your enemy living inside of you. Isn't it? But as for me, I am a depressed person who feels sorry for herself all the time... so its really no wonder but nothing is an excuse.

welcome to the site. guess now you know you are not the only one!!! there's lots of us - in all stages of recovery. i totally agree with NicolT and Missy. It's not about food. food is just our 'drug' of choice. it is all about what's going on inside - emotionally.

Its soooo good to know other people know how overeating feels and the totall distress is causes. I would never wish it upon anyone but it is good to know we are not alone. Soemtimes I feel like such a freak and that no one understands.

I lost loads of weight before I went on my holidays and when I got back I got so depressed my binging episodes started again and I gaines a stone and a half in under 2 months. Now I feel like crap which leads to further binge eating.

I think I am going to try and get back on the wagon tomorow. The thing is, I need appatite supressants to even try. Then I feel ill. Its such a crappy situation. Why can't I just have a normal outlook on food!

Annyhoo, I'm pretty new here and look forward to getting to know you all so we can support one another. :o)

lol It's no joke. Unless it's like the meanest joke ever. I started driving home to my mom every night when school got stressful thinking that it would get better but now If I come home and she's out getting her hair done or picking up groceries I immediately seek comfort in the fridge and pantry. I just did it now. I've been eating since 4pm and its 6 now. She's still not home and my stomach hurts now but i dont know if i'm really finished with this episode yet...

Sounds like you're a college student, yes? I'm 22, but my situation has been very similar to yours since I recovered from anorexia at age 16. I also would binge particularly badly when I went home on breaks from school; I binge almost every night and compulsively exercise every single morning, now tying over into the afternoon (fortunately I have a 1-9 job) and so I also don't go out at night not exactly because it will involve eating but because I usually feel so guilty for having wasted so much time exercising that I think I should try to work...which then leads to binging, and starts the cycle all over again.
My advice, having gone through this for a very long time...and I don't follow this advice all the time which is why I still have a problem, but when I do it usually works:
On the psychological side:
1. Find some outlets so you don't bottle things up during the week. This can be one place. If you can journal that's another place. You can email me if you want to at diana.perkins2008@gmail.com and I will be happy to talk to you about whatever you want to talk about, honestly, see a therapist, or confide in a friend who will really hear you, if you are lucky enough to have such a friend.
2. GO OUT AT NIGHT. The cycle of not going out makes you lonely. I think for a lot of us there is some part of this that is either caused or exacerbated by loneliness.
3. Find things to do with people that are not connected to food, and pro-actively make plans to do them.
4. Don't restrict. This is advice that was given to me, and for me it hasn't worked: if I don't restrict I just end up eating all day, rather than just at night, however I know it helps many people.
5. Find and focus on things that make you feel good about yourself.

Practically:
1. If you can afford it, live alone and make sure that the foods you binge on are not in your house.
2. Keep a journal of when you start to binge, how you feel during the binge, and how you felt before the binge. Try to trace it to its roots.
3. Post-pone the binge. Seems like you're doing a pretty good job of this, but I've been told to make a list of 10 things you can do instead of binge, and methodically go through them when you feel the binge is coming. It's worked for me a bit, sometimes.
4. IMPORTANT: DO NOT convert this into another eating disorder. I dont' know if the thought even entered your mind, however if you have considered purging in any way other than exercise, which is not good but is comparatively harmless, PLEASE DON'T START. I am now addicted to laxatives and it is literally destroying my life right now. It's the worst thing I've ever done to myself and I feel like a total moron for having begun it.

That was actually a totally random division. All of those were both psychological and practical. Oh well.

Feel free to email me any time.

Good luck,

Diana