Food Addiction Support Group
An individual suffering from a food addiction disorder frequently experiences episodes of uncontrolled eating, or binging, during which they may feel frenzied or out of control. They will eat much more quickly than is normal, and continue to eat even past the point of being uncomfortably full. Binging in this way is generally followed by a period of intense guilt feelings...
Hi. I am 30 years old, 260lbs and married. I am a compulsive overeater. Unfortunatly I live in an area where there are not support group meetings in English.
I know what I am trying to fill when I eat and eat and eat.
I have gone through the counceling to get to this point of admiting I have a very bad relationship with myself and I use food to medicate it.
So far I have been able to ask myself with a fair amount of regularity if I am hungry or feeling empty. I feel loneliness as an emptiness in my stomach, just like when I am physically hungry.
I have had weightloss success when I kept a food journal, but realistically this is something that I don't keep up for more than a week or two. I don't like the bother of measureing and weighing all of my food, keeping track of calories, fat, carbs, sodium. I find it teadious and demeaning that I have to do this to lose weight.
I also have noticed that I don't eat throughout the day, then I binge. Usually before my husband comes home from work. I don't like to binge in front of him. I feel disgusting enough. I know logically that the way I am eating is bad for me because my body thinks it is starving so it stores what I do eat as fat.
Right now I am not sure if I am hungry or feeling lonely. I want to eat.
It has been so easy to justify that I am fat because I only eat once a day, but man do I eat and eat when I eat once a day.
On the days that I do eat balanced and throughout the day I feel like a pig. How can it be healthy to eat throughout the day when I am fat from binging once a day?
I have already developed serious health issues because of my weight. My husband is terrified that because of my weight that I will die long before he does.
I have got to get a handle on this NOW.
I feel so bad about myself.
I feel like an idiot about this subject. I know what and how to eat healthy, but in the fog of wanting to stop hurting, those things just fly out the window.
I am thinking about convincing myself that food is not evil, just so I feel safe eating throughout the day. I mean I really feel aweful when I do eat breakfast and two to four hours later I am physically hungry again.
Is that part of my brain just broken? Is it really ok to eat every four hours?
I just don't know where to go from here. I know why I do it, I know my patterns of doing it, I actively ask myself if I am hungry or feeling something else, but for some reason it seems I can't put into practice eating breakfast and lunch.
I have tried daily schedules, I have tried food journals, I have tried forcing myself. I just can't seem to get a healthy eating pattern to stick.
What do I do now?
I know what I am trying to fill when I eat and eat and eat.
I have gone through the counceling to get to this point of admiting I have a very bad relationship with myself and I use food to medicate it.
So far I have been able to ask myself with a fair amount of regularity if I am hungry or feeling empty. I feel loneliness as an emptiness in my stomach, just like when I am physically hungry.
I have had weightloss success when I kept a food journal, but realistically this is something that I don't keep up for more than a week or two. I don't like the bother of measureing and weighing all of my food, keeping track of calories, fat, carbs, sodium. I find it teadious and demeaning that I have to do this to lose weight.
I also have noticed that I don't eat throughout the day, then I binge. Usually before my husband comes home from work. I don't like to binge in front of him. I feel disgusting enough. I know logically that the way I am eating is bad for me because my body thinks it is starving so it stores what I do eat as fat.
Right now I am not sure if I am hungry or feeling lonely. I want to eat.
It has been so easy to justify that I am fat because I only eat once a day, but man do I eat and eat when I eat once a day.
On the days that I do eat balanced and throughout the day I feel like a pig. How can it be healthy to eat throughout the day when I am fat from binging once a day?
I have already developed serious health issues because of my weight. My husband is terrified that because of my weight that I will die long before he does.
I have got to get a handle on this NOW.
I feel so bad about myself.
I feel like an idiot about this subject. I know what and how to eat healthy, but in the fog of wanting to stop hurting, those things just fly out the window.
I am thinking about convincing myself that food is not evil, just so I feel safe eating throughout the day. I mean I really feel aweful when I do eat breakfast and two to four hours later I am physically hungry again.
Is that part of my brain just broken? Is it really ok to eat every four hours?
I just don't know where to go from here. I know why I do it, I know my patterns of doing it, I actively ask myself if I am hungry or feeling something else, but for some reason it seems I can't put into practice eating breakfast and lunch.
I have tried daily schedules, I have tried food journals, I have tried forcing myself. I just can't seem to get a healthy eating pattern to stick.
What do I do now?
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I have been here before, a long long time ago and now I am back.Forgive me for not just saying what I want to say,even under a triple dose of antidepressants it is still raw and seeping and I am hesitant at revealing it as at least under the bandages around my heart I don,t have to look at how raw and wounded.My child was cleaved from my heart by his own actions. my child of ten,turning eleven...
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Has anyone tried these supplements? Do they give MGers more quality of life by improving memory and overall well being?Thanks!Barbel
Secondly i am going to ask you this - How much do you actually want to lose weight? Are you at the stage where the thought of bingeing and the behaviour that goes with it actually makes you feel sick to your stomach and goes against everything you believe in, that you find the behaviour absolutely disgusting and disturbs you - or are you at the stage where you would jsut want to change your behaviour?
I think that until you get to the stage where the pain associated to bingeing outweighs the pleasure of it then all your attempts are going to be in vain.
You say here that to measure food and keep journals is tedious. If you really wanted to change your behaviour you would want to do it because it is one way amongst a whole truckload of ways to change the way you live your life. Get yourself a list of all the things that you can do that will help you to change your behaviour, like going for a walk immediately after eating, only allowing yourself to eat every 2 hours, only allowing yourself to eat when you are sitting down at a table with a plate and a knife and fork.
There are so many ways that you can change your behaviour but first of all like i said you have got to want it more than anything and have a number of reasons why you HAVE TO CHANGE - and once you have got that part the rest will follow - i'm not saying it is easy cos that is a load of shit - but i am saying that reasons come solutions come second
Good luck - you can do it!!!!
I look forward to watching your behaviour change for the better in the next few weeks!
I actually had a break through today when I woke up. It may kind of sound silly, but I have a 3c measuring cup. Instead of doing the teadious thing and measuring it and putting the food into another container, I just put my whole breakfast into the cup and ate it that way. So I had a cup and a half of cereal and a cup of milk for breakfast. This seems reasonable to me, and I don't have any feelings of guilt or shame that I ate breakfast in this manner. It worked for me.
I, too, have an all-or-nothing tendency when it comes to eating. I'll go the whole day and be fine- even very disciplined- and then come home and in the comfort of my kitchen completely pig out and feel GROSS afterwards.
I think I've accepted that I will never be perfectly careless around food and it will always be something I have to work on. However, I do see patterns of what works and what doesn't, and perhaps you should look to see for yourself what works. For example, I find that working out is really good for me physically and emotionally. It helps me respect myself and my body, and learn to appreciate its strength instead of harping on its imperfections.
I find that writing on DailyStrength helps me stay connected not only with others but with myself as well, and it gives me a catharsis where I can express the things that are eating me instead of eating to make them feel better.
You know what you need to do. It's just having the faith that this time will be different is what's difficult.
Do things that help you connect with yourself. Write. Mediate. Talk to yourself. Do whatever it is that iwll help you crystallize that vision in your head and make it into something real.
We're all behind you!
He never noticed the binge eating. I would do this while he was at work.
Food buying changes without feeling guilty that I am depriving him.
Invite me to exercise with him. Gotta get around the mentality that exercise is horrible. I hate getting all sweaty. But a stroll around the village after dinner is a nice way to spend some time with him and see the beautiful gardens.
I gave him some signs that he would recognize as preludes to binging or active binging. Pulling away from him, not talking, refusing to leave the house, and the most shaming of them all, personal grooming.
Ordering for me in restaurants. I have noticed that I fully intend and want to order that wonderful salad with chicken and boiled eggs, but blurt out the meal of something even worse when the waitress comes to the table. After eating something like half pound schnitzel with a cup of cream sauce and the huge plate of fries and the salad, I feel intense shame and guilt.
I am on Step 3 of my 12 Step recovery program. I am learning to accept God into my heart and making an effort to pray every day for His guidance.
I recite the Serenity Prayer several times a day. This keeps me focused on what I can and cannot change.
Today I did not binge.