Food Addiction Support Group

An individual suffering from a food addiction disorder frequently experiences episodes of uncontrolled eating, or binging, during which they may feel frenzied or out of control. They will eat much more quickly than is normal, and continue to eat even past the point of being uncomfortably full. Binging in this way is generally followed by a period of intense guilt feelings...

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Addiction & Recovery
/ Food Addiction Support Group

Help! I love my addiction!

deleted_user
deleted_user
I am in the super morbidly obese category. I wait until the house is empty of people and then I order enough food for 2 to 4 people and eat it all. I keep food hidden from other family members. The first thing I think about is eating when I wake up and I get excited when I think of my next meal (sometimes while I'm eating). I plan times when I can be alone with food. I eat until my stomach hurts and sometimes I stay like that all day..eating more and more.

I know I'm addicted. I feel like I don't have any control over myself. When I try to diet..all I think about all day is eating. It makes me crazy. I have even over ate diet food when I couldn't take it anymore. I don't know how to stop this. Everyone can see I'm fat, but nobody knows the struggle I have on a daily basis. I don't even want to tell my therapist because I'm afraid she will put me in the hospital and keep me from the food.

I guess this is my confession. I have gone to OA meetings before, but even there I never admitted it to anyone. I guess I was in denial. I have read some of the posts on here and seen several people like me. I guess I just don't want to be alone anymore with this beast.
Marah
Marah
Welcome dear friend. I hope admitting is the first step to a cure and survival for you. I know what you mean about overeating diet food. Don't know if you are old enough to remember aides diet candy. You were supposed to eat one with a cup of coffee or tea before you had a meal. I ate the whole box. At one time. Like 30 of them. Not proud of that, but there it is. God bless you. And yes this addiction is a beast.
deleted_user
deleted_user
I completly relate to you thinking about food first thing in the morning and planning your next meal while your still eating. I have the same issues. Just know that we are all here and we suffer also and I'm here if you ever want to talk.
deleted_user
deleted_user
There is hope, I am far from "cured" which there is no such thing as anyway but I am much better off now than I ever was, but I still have some bad days.. but fewer and binges are less too on those days. Awareness is the first step, and then once you keep telling yourself over and over again that you must eat to live, not the other way around, you do start believing it and food addiction becomes less of a beast as time goes on. Like I said I am far from overcoming it completely but I am doing quite well. Something incredibly stressful happened to me today, something triggered my worst phobia today and I DID NOT turn to food. I mean, thats a sure improvement... hang in there, you will get better...
deleted_user
deleted_user
Your problem is mine problem. Same thoughts, same mistakes. But it's good to hear the successes here, to know it's possible to have more good days than bad. Glad you have join in.
deleted_user
deleted_user
I am new here. I am struggling everyday. I have 2 young children; one of them is Autistic and we need to keep high fat foods in the house for that is all he will eat. He is 50 pounds and 8yrs old. Skin and bones. I can never say NO. I try and succeed for a bit but go right back to my old ways. So all the cookies and chips that are meant for him end up eaten by me. Sugar and carbs are my beast. Handfuls if I can get them. OA was wonderful for me. I felt so good after. They have a group that you can go to that monitors what you eat and they call you everyday to make sure you follow thru. I need that. To be held accountable. I need to belong somewhere and I feel this may be it. How about you?
deleted_user
deleted_user
realizing and accepting you have an addiction is definitely the first step. reaching out for support - here or in person at OA meetings is another. but then what? how do you rid yourself of an addiction 'you love'? how do you do THAT?

i remember in the beginning, when i realized things couldn't go on the way they were. i wanted IT to be different. i wanted IT to change. had to learn it doesn't work that way. I had to change.

in 'you can heal your life' Louise Hayes suggests that in the beginning when you don't know how to change, and part of you is still resistant to change, the best place to start is by telling yourself over and over and over, that you are WILLING to change. it opens the door. and we believe what we tell ourselves. at least eventually we do. it takes time.

good luck firestar - i hope you find posts like Missy's encouraging. there are lots of us here who have made a lot of improvements and are way healthier than we were.

it can be done!!!!
deleted_user
deleted_user
I struggle just as you. I am overweight for me by quite a bit. No one really knows about my binging except for my husband as of late. I go to a psychiatrist for depression and anxiety meds. I have never mentioned the binging either just because I don't want that be be another thing he is "looking" at. I too wait until everyone is gone. I have been better since joining htis group and getting more outside support. I am not cured by far but hopefully on the right step. You are in very good company here and I welcome you. We are all here for ya.
deleted_user
deleted_user
you are certainly not alone. i am in the midst of my own torrid love affair with food. food is magical, medicinal, seductive, abusive. there's a great quote that states, "that which nourishes me detroys me." that is the very essence our struggles. i hope you will find strenght here at DS.
deleted_user
deleted_user
google geneen roth
deleted_user
deleted_user
Geneen Roth...nah. Too much like Dr. Phil and all those others. Over publicized (sp?) Like the ones who are more like me--small and meek. But thanks for the input.
deleted_user
deleted_user
That's exactly how I feel about food...I love it, but it controls me. I wake up thinking about it, and it's the last thing I think about before I fall asleep at night. I know it's not normal...and I know I need to do something about it, but I love food too much to stop doing it! I hide it from everyone...not even my husband knows how obsessed I am with food. It's my best friend and my worst enemy.
deleted_user
deleted_user
I'm afraid allowing food to control me has been a long time problem for me. But over and over I still want to win the battle. Glad to have others on my side.
deleted_user
deleted_user
I truly believe in the ONE DAY AT A TIME. Stay in "today", refrain from "tomorrow" or "yesterday." I cannot fix yesterday, I don't even know what will happen tomorrow, but RIGHT NOW I can control.
deleted_user
deleted_user
I hate to say this, but thank God for you, firestar. I am soothed knowing that I am not alone, that there are people who can put words to my emotions and fears and embarassments. Thank you for being honest and sharing.

We're not really even in the minority, I don't think. I think there are more people like us than we'll ever know. People who feel like hell, people who struggle with self-trust and self-hatred.

Stay on this site! We need you!! We need your voice!
deleted_user
deleted_user
Dear Firestar72,
It seems my whole day is planning my eating times, what I'll eat, how much & where. I binge 3 times a day & my stomach hurts so much I cannot fit anymore in. I feel like me stomach is always distended. I also get a buzz & an adrenalin rush as I planj & think about the food. I know exactly what you are going through.
Write & talk if you need to,
love Dags.
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