Food Addiction Support Group

An individual suffering from a food addiction disorder frequently experiences episodes of uncontrolled eating, or binging, during which they may feel frenzied or out of control. They will eat much more quickly than is normal, and continue to eat even past the point of being uncomfortably full. Binging in this way is generally followed by a period of intense guilt feelings...

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/ Food Addiction Support Group

Food my lover and my enemy

deleted_user
deleted_user
I love food but I HATE IT TOO. I lost 60kg last year and to be honest some may not understand this but I HATED the reaction I got from people. They were falling all over me saying how gorgeous I was etc. I would walk away and got to the point where I didn't want to see anyone. I was still the same person in side but outside had change. Its amazing how insentive society is. I have put it all back on and probably even then some. I won't stand on any scales but no longer have any clothes that will fit. I won't leave the house now because of the "elevator stare" (the up and down look) NOW food is the only thing that lights up my face. My husband comes home with food and I almost dive on him to get it. I feel excited to eat it and look like the cat that has got the mouse UNTIL.....I have finished it and then I feel sick and disgusted with myself. I control it for a little while and then binge like there is no tomorrow. Nighttime is the worst time for me when my husband is asleep I go and raid the fridge and it really doesn't matter what I get I will gobble it down till I feel physically and emotionally sick. I get to points where all I think about is food. I HATE IT!!!!!! I am new here also and just want my time here to be helpful and that others too know what I am saying and maybe have some ideas on how to stop these feelings. I think my feelings run deeper than looking cosmetically better but a place of acceptance of who I am I THINK. It may sound like dribble but its the best I can do to explain it. I hope to make many friends here so we can support each other through our journeys of "acceptance".
deleted_user
deleted_user
I definitely understand this. I use food for so many reasons beside the nourishment of my body, and that's a problem. It's always there for me, and I look to it for suppport and distraction. It allows me to deal with the world, and I'm utterly dependent on it. I think dealing with compulsive eating is about becoming healthier mentally and physically-and, like you said, acceptance.

I slip up most days, and find myself "fixing" all of my problems with food. In reality, this only compounds the problem. But there it is.
deleted_user
deleted_user
It doesn't sound like dribble at all. It sounds real and heartfelt. I get where you're coming from.

I love food. I hate that I love it to the extent that I do.

I also hate that I hate it to the extent that I do.

And, yeah - when the first and only thing people notice about you is that you've lost weight... Sometimes it is good, sometimes it feels good to be recognized for that. Sometimes it just hammers it home that people see a number. (Even if that's just our warped perception!)
deleted_user
deleted_user
I can relate to you very much. Hate the out of control feeling. Saw my pdoc today and he suggested I journal about before ,during and after the binge, my thoughts, feelings and body. So I guess a grid of 3 across 3 down. gonna do it.
deleted_user
deleted_user
thank you all for your replies and toria that is a good idea. I might try writing down before, during and after my binge. That would make for interesting reading I'm sure. The panic of the wanting.....the satisfaction of the getting .....and the regret of the having. Such a sad thought really isn't it.
Marah
Marah
I can relate to everthing except the reaction to people noticing your weight loss. I had to loose 30 pounds before even my husband noticed. Seriously, he didn't even notice. I have now lost 49 pounds and some people still haven't noticed. I guess everyone still sees me as fat, even though I am within 3 pounds of my origional goal of 120. Of course, I still see myself as fat, so maybe that is part of the problem. And a lot of my winter clothes look like maternity clothes and I can't really afford a whole new wardrobe.
deleted_user
deleted_user
i remember thinking all the talk about self acceptance was a pile of crap. now i look back and realize that i dismissed it because the idea of me being perfectly okay, was just so hard for me to imagine. after years of trying to rely on control and will power, i gave that up in favour of focusing on me. in favour of learning to accept myself exactly as i am. it is working. it is the only thing that has. at least for me.

glad you found this website. there are great people here - while perspectives and ideas differ, pretty much everyone has had the feelings you describe.

good luck
deleted_user
deleted_user
"Sooo, is so right. Learning to accept ourselves where ever we are at will help us, get the strength needed to do what ever we want. Certainly glad you are hear.
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