Hi...welcome to the site!!
I have stuggled with various eating disorders/issues for about 25 years, so I know how frustrated you must feel at this point. I too experience stomach problems from years of abuse.
I can relate to pretty everything you said, actually. I do find I have been getting better lately, although certainly no where near where I would like to be.
What kind of therapy or treatment have you received for this, if any?

thanks jlb. about 10 years ago when i was bulimic i had some therapy, which didn't help that much. i went to OA which didn't help that much either. then i went on prozac, which was a lifesaver. it stopped me from obsessing about food and my weight and body image. which is where this all stems from. right now i am not technically bulimic - i don't vomit. but i do fast the next day and exercise a lot. i go in between binging and not eating enough. that's why i binge, because i'm probably not getting the good fat and nutrients that i need. when i'm not binging, i eat SUPER healthy. but probably not enough. because i'm afraid of gaining weight. it's so messed up. i'm just so sad i've ruined my stomach. i always feel very bloated and in pain (my upper abdomen) even when i drink water. it always feels like there is a knot in my stomach. i just had a gastric emptying test on friday - a doctor i saw thinks i might have delayed gastric emptying - which is often caused by a damaged vagus nerve. i probably damaged it from binging. anyway, despite all that, despite the pain and discomfort, i continue to binge. well, thanks for listening and responding. oh, what kind of stomach problems do you have? hope you had a blessed weekend.

welcome to the site! good to know u arent alone and arent as crazy as u thought right?? the food fantasies are the worse and u feel ridiculous having them right?? filling your time with more positive activities is the best step towards starting to better yourself! i throw up after my binges and have done a lot of damage to my stomach...now when i eat even a healthy meal (in non binge mode) i feel sick to my stomach and my body wants to throw it up...sometimes i have to make myself keep food down. it is all very dangerous and you are doing the right thing by recognizing it and talking about it. good luck and as i am pretty new to the site i think you will find a lot of release in venting here!

I agree with Lauren33 - you need to find activities in your life that you can be excited and passionate about - things that will replace that obsession with food. That being said, I think it is vitally important for anyone struggling with eating issues to get to the bottom of why that are doing this to themselves. When you were in therapy, did you get that far? Until you deal with the underlying emotional reasons for doing this, you likely will continue to struggle with it in some capacity. We don't just do this because we love food - we do this to try and distract ourselves from feeling certain emotions that we perceive as being too painful to deal with. How long did you go to therapy for? If I were you, I would seek out a different therapist and try again.
As far as my stomach problems, I have nothing diagnosed, but I noticed that alot of food gives me heartburn and an upset stomach, so I'm assuming I have some sort of reflux disorder - I have to be very careful of what I eat nowadays!!
I hope you find this site to be an encouragement and a help to you! Anytime you need to talk, I'm here for you!!

thanks so much lauren and jlb. your replies are comforting to me and this site helps. didn't binge today!! praise God. i woke up with a renewed sense of hope. i think i know why i binge. i think it's physical but the root is psychological. it's because i have a screwed up body image ( i always have, even though i was never really too heavy, and right now i'm less than 110 lbs). so i'm afraid of gaining weight, and that causes me to exercise too much and not eat enough, most of the time. my body doesn't get the nutrients it needs, so i fantasize about food a lot, and then eventually i act on it and binge, and then sometimes i can't stop for days. i know it's that, because during the times in my life when i didn't restrict my eating, i didn't binge. it's only when i restrict my eating that i binge uncontrollably. in the past couple months i wasn't eating enough fat and calories. i have to get over this fear of gaining weight. it's so messed up.
how are you guys doing????? thanks and God bless!! :-)

So now the key is to take it one step further than that - why do you have a screwed up body image? There are reasons for this, and those are the underlying emotional reasons that you have to try and unbury and tackle getting over. People develop ED's for various reasons - abuse in their past, traumatic incidences, trying to gain a sense of control.......lots of reasons I'm sure. But none of us is born with a messed up body image - we learn that message somewhere along the lines in life.
By the way - awesome job on not binging today (well yesterday by now!!!) Good for you - I hope today goes just as well for you.

thank you jlb. i think my messed up body image just comes from the guys i've dated and society valuing skinny women. but the bottom line is that i care too much about what people think and let them influence my behavior. gotta stop thinking like that but it's hard.
haven't binged since sunday but i can barely eat because of severe pain and bloating. although that never stopped me before. anyway, i had a counseling session today and that really helped.