April 16, 2007: I should be happy for him, but part of me is not. My husband got the offer he's been waiting for, a consulting job at a good rate of pay an hour. When he orig told me he was going to look for work he told me that this would give me a chance to save money too, that he would catch all the bills for a while, but then took it back when he realized I had a small savings (only $5k; he has a savings of nearly $100k). He was upset and said that I haven't cut him a break why should he give me one. (He quit his high paying job to pursue his own business. We split the bills and pay for our own food, etc., much like roommates.) I once offered to pay all the regular bills if he would buy the food and gas, because I felt this would give him a chance not to worry so much about bills, and this would also eliminate some of the fighting about money and it would also teach us to depend on eachother instead of completely ourselves - this was before the consulting job. Unfortunately, on a temp. job wage I can't afford this out of state, only here at home. (I also have a huge student loan hanging over my head so we cannot be on a joint checking account b/c if I defaulted they could take everything he has.) I told him I didn't mind helping with things, but it hurts me when he boasts about how much he's going to make and how much he is going to be able to save. I also told him that it hurts me that I have to feel that I have to bust my butt all year round or dip into my small savings, but he can work for a short period of time, which I am making a sacrifice by quitting my job and relocating for him to do so, but I don't get anything out of it. I told him I was on board because we both were winning in the situation, but now, if anything I am going to be experiencing a set back until I find new work. It's hard to be excited for someone that you love when half the time you are fighting with them over stupid stuff. I've tried coming up with solutions of trying to make this financial thing work, and honestly I do think it would be fair if he cut me a break (only because he will be making such a great deal by this temporary move), but he won't hear of it. I've been sick for the last week, we don't have insurance because he doesn't want to help with his portion (I can get some thru the temp agency) and I broke down and went to the doctor I am so sick. I've been sleeping on the couch because it is warmer upstairs (I have asthmatic bronchitis, and a sinus infection), tonight I have felt a little better only because I have antibiotics in me, and to be honest, I don't even want to sleep next to him. My mother and his mother are both worried about me moving out of state with him like this and are both upset by his stinginess. Maybe I shouldn't have involved either of them, but to be honest I don't have anyone else to talk to about it. I believe that it won't be long before my mother dislikes him - I have to be careful with what I say, and to be honest may have to lie about the financial thing to buffer how she and my stepdad will feel about and react to him. I am so scared. I love him and don't want our marriage to fall apart but I just don't know what to do to save it. Does anyone have any suggestions?
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