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Help, my best friend is becoming materialistic

deleted_user
deleted_user
I have a best friend that has to always show me what she has bought whether it is a new wig,clothes, or jewelry and mention the cost or brand. I am in no way jealous of her in no shape or form. It is just she becoming quite an annoyance. I mean I make good money and have nice things too but it seems she wants to make sure someone acknowledges her. When we go out to party she always has to try to show me what she bought that day, and it always is while I am driving. Literally if she wants me to see her new boots she will lift up her foot and try to shove it in my face. Oh let me not forget to mention she has a habit of always mentioning how much money she has in her account and she even goes as far as to show me her atm receipts. I love her as a sister but she is so materialistic now. I say now because she was not like this a year ago. A year ago she was in a relationship with her kids father. They lived together but up out of the blue he told her he was moving out and taking their three kids with him to Texas. She let him take the kids and every since she has been this way. It is really driving me crazy I cant even have a conversation with her over the phone without her mentioning a brand of clothing she has bought. I dont understand it, can my friendship ultimately end because she is this materialistic?
deleted_user
deleted_user
Sounds to me like she's using this as a replacement for what she's lost, not sure of herself and using material things to make herself feel better and needs the positive reinforcement that she's doing good... while not acknowledging the real issues.
deleted_user
deleted_user
I agree with Chris333, your friend is using her shopping/money as a way of covering her true feelings and loss of her children. She is truly suffering inside, and is trying to mask it. Her shopping sprees are a way of seeking temporary happiness. Remember the phrase, money can't buy love... that is exactly what she is trying to do. However, the thrill of buying something is short lived, so she continues the cycle. In time she will crash, sadly enough.

Good luck!
deleted_user
deleted_user
I am reading a new book by Dr. Dyer that talks about "self-inflating comments" that can be seen as weeds one really has no need for.

I believe in living in a world of gratitude where boasting has no place. We certainly are NOT what we own. How sad if one believes that because if you strip them of "things" what is left? Less is more so often.

I agree with the others. I think your friend is feeding some very unhealthy void. So sad. I will send up a prayer for her.
EllaBlue
deleted_user
deleted_user
Please be gentle with your friend. Chris333 is right on and jenetalli... is so correct in stating "She is truly suffering inside." You may gently want to tell her you are happy for her ... but her friendship is all that you want ... and it wouldn't matter if she had these lovely things or if she were in a burlap bag. She needs to develop self confidence and if you love her steadfastly ... and keep restating the message above ... perhaps it may reach her at some point (it most likely will be later rather than sooner though ... so patience is also needed). Best wishes to you both.
deleted_user
deleted_user
I agree with them all. Your friend is missing something. Have you ever told her how you feel. Let her know that she must slow her roll. She is moveing to fast. Good luck!
deleted_user
deleted_user
oh dear, yes, your friends are all right, arent they. She is filling a void - I had a cousin like this who became a complete shopaholic and ended up bankrupt -- I am not suggesting she would do this but it would be good if somehow she could recognise what she is doing. I wonder if she could take a gentle hint from you? difficult to know how to tackle this one. Because if you mention something it will sound as if you are envious of her. hmmmmmm....take care of you - and her - you will find a way.....Cathrynn XX
deleted_user
deleted_user
Wow that would drive me nuts to,Maybe she really has some deep issues she can't seem to work through so her outer apperance has to be known. I don't care what you have or how much ya make you don't have to be like that. I have a thirteen year old daughter who is so beautiful and yet the outer apperance is everything to her and i try to teach her its nice to have the outwardness but its not about you all the time, its what is in your heart and what you give to others. This me, me world i hate and i hate it with raising children. I hope since you are like sisters maybe let her no how you feel, you do have that right. If she is a true friend she should understand. good luck
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