Financial Challenges Support Group
This community is for people who are struggling to meet financial obligations of any kind. Financial challenges include everything from the day-to-day challenges of making ends meet to managing credit card debt to bankruptcy. Get support from others who are going through similar obstacles on the road back to financial stability.
We are in deep financial trouble and on top of everything, my husband has emotionally abandoned me. I'm not talking about not coddling me or treating me like a princess or letting me cry all the time. I mean he doesn't talk to me, acknowledge I am even around and when I ask him an important question he just says, "I don't know. You figure it out." I have been very strong through bankruptcy and foreclosre on our home. So strong that I think I just might have a breakdown at some point. Leaving him is not an option. I love him and know he is hurting, too. But I can't convince him that we need to be there for each other emotionally to get through this. Any advice?
deleted_user
counselling, you two need to sit down and talk...It may be as asimple as he is suffering from a lot of shame based on "failure to provide" and does not know how to react so he withdraws himself..Have someone else mediate and help you two out.
deleted_user
You are right. I am not judgemental or place blame on him, but I know he does feel like a failure. His actions, though, are borderline mean. Not abusive physically, but mentally. We do need counseling. I think that will help. Thank you.
deleted_user
I know how you feel. I tell my husband all the time we need to do something, and he tells me oh you think we are still going to loose the house and looks at me like I am weird and says dont think that way. We have already lost everything once. I cant do it again. We are at a negative every month. What does he think is going to happen. I know how you feel. Us women seems to carry all this debt deep inside, and it makes us sick. I am sorry you have to go through this. You are not alone. I wish you well. HUGS, Ally
deleted_user
P.S. dont bee too hard on hubby. They feel it too. I know I am contradicting myself just a little, but they do. It is hard oh them too. Maybe you need to find the right way to talk to him about it. It is hard good luck.
deleted_user
According to stats the biggest problems in any marriage is FINANCIAL. What are your skills set Can you find something to help out the situation? Good Luck I hope you get a major windfall in the near future to hold you over..
deleted_user
If he is not there for you, how can you be there for him and yourself. You cannot. I have been through the same issue with my husband. Being with a perso is a choice one he is not making. You do't have to divorce him i am not suggesting that you do it. I am suggesting that you protect your heart and start to make YOU strong. He is grown and you cannot change him or make him decide to feel better. You need to work on yourself so you can deal with whatever comes your way.
deleted_user
I think that how prayforme answered is very wise but also, yes, counselling would be great if he would agree to this? would he, do you think? my husband and myself had problems in the middle part of our marriage, I think the turning point was when I realised he would never change!! however, we were very happy the last 20 years but I think we would in the earlier years have benefited from counselling, though dont know whether he would have done....nowadays, though, counselling is much more accepted - do hope all goes well, you love him - love conquers all....*smiling*...take care..
deleted_user
Hi, I am sorry to hear that your family is struggling. One thing I learned is that men can't handle certain things..like you said he is hurting too. Take a few hours to get away together, even if its just a walk around the block. Let him know that you need him and he needs you. I have been down that road and it did not end pretty for me. You guys will be fine..find ways to keep the communication open. I know it is hard on you but if he's not gonna do it you have to. My wishes. ~ J ~
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