Sometimes I feel like I am worthless because I don't make any money. This weekend my husband and I went and looked at houses just for fun. We are not in a position to buy yet but we just want to see what is out there. It will be a big strain on my husband to try and buy a house for us all by his self. He really needs my help financially but my job makes nothing at all. It is an artistic field and it is more of a hobby than job. I don't know what to do, I am not happy doing what I would need to do to make even a little money in my field, but I don't know much of anything else. I am putting such pressure on myself to get a real job. I would have to give up what I am doing with my life right now in order to get an entry level job doing something that has money potential. I have been working at what I am doing for 15 years of my life. I feel like I would loose my identity if I stop. I am afraid I would die inside. Does it even matter? As long there is money in the bank does it matter? As long as I can pay half a mortgage does it matter? Every time I buy a lotto ticket I hope and pray just to win a little portion just to take the edge off this pressure. I don't have any other way to make real money. I feel like that is the only way I can bring in what my husband does, I feel like I will ever be able to match what he brings in or how much he works. I am so lazy and such a good for nothing.
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