Sometimes when I write things...I really see the irrationality that my husband talks about. 2am..........I have to work 12 hours and I still cant sleep. what now?

I don't think you sound stupid or irrational at all. You sound like a woman who is sick of being sick, who is tired of people not believing her and who is coping in the best way you know how. You don't want to be on pain meds, you don't want to not be able to do your job and you want to sleep. It all sound reasonable to me!!

I can't do anything concrete from afar but I can try to give you some validation. Your friend that can't stand the drama - let them live in your bod for a bit and they would change their minds I am sure. I think we all have experienced some of that at some point.

Have you been formally diagnosed? You have a good medical background so you understand your body.

It is trite, but hang in there and vent all you want here, it is one of the things the board is here for.

Big hugs.

am so sorry you are having such a rough time. Wow it is amazing that you can work in such a stressful job and still function.Have you tried getting something to help you sleep.Maybe something in antidepressant line that gives you the deep rem sleep.Do not apologize for venting. We get it here okay.I am sure you don't need me to tell you this but alcholol is a depressant. sorry don't be mad at me. I hope your day goes better. you are in my prayers marilyn. Yes sometimes even our friends can be hurtful. they just don't get it.

Please be kind to yourself hon. We are all doing the best we can to live not survive but live. And we are doing all we can to share with others to find acceptance, understanding and love and compassion. It just seems that there are too many people out there who do not care. it is so sad too because it is the very thing we all claim to reach out during this season and we really dont. We are here for eacho ther because alot of us dont know love and support except through here. And that is the reason why this place was created. Dont feel stupid you are just overwhelmed in every sense of the word. It is understandable. And others will come around or the wont and if they dont they arent really the kind of support you want in your life anyway. Be kind to yourself. I give you props for working such a demanding and hard job!! I know I can't work so you are one step above me !! You go girl!!! Everything will be ok. We love you.
Gentle Hugs
Happy Holidays
Tink

KC. Its completely normal to feel this way. Esp. when u dont have much support from friends and family.
I too feel the same way, im just sick of it all, im sick of going to work everyday in pain, waking up like this, sick of taking all these pills that dont help my flares.

Like another poster said, be kind to yourself. You cant beat yourself up over this. Have u tried massage therapy? that is really helping me, although it only lasts a few days.

*hugs* 2 u.

Hi,

I think anyone who can handle working in the ER is one strong woman! Helping others does take the focus off what is wrong with us. Have you tried seeing a naturopath for help? I don't like narc's either and drinking isn't an option for me.

I have gotten pain relief from taking supplements. It doesn't help everyone but it has helped me.

GodBless you for helping the sick. I think that is God's work, Hugs, Keleee :)

You really need some Peace my Friend.Focus on the good things, alot of us can no longer works..you have a job that you LOVE doing...that is awsome...why do you want your husband to go away ? what Kids Deserve is Love, there is nothing this Disease does that will stop you from Loveing your children...you can still guide them to adulthood...cherish your moments with them...praise their good deeds and punish their bad...nothing stopping you from all that...hell you can do that even if you were bedridden !!...alcohal, well that is a choice you have made, and I am sorry but it is no better then narcs...and just as addictive...now that you CAN help, but that is your call. Now you can make the choice to keep sitting there and crying or stand up and fight for Yourself...I do Understand your pain...both the physical and the emotional aspects...4 years ago I was completely alone with all my pain...no one to help me thru even a day of it...gather your stregths Girl...this is your life... Live it, even if occasionally you have to live it from your Knees !!!

Boy do understand you! When this first started with me, my husband was sceptical as well as my kids. My boss still thinks I am just lazy and don't want to show up for work and just get paid for it. It is really demeaning and hurtful. We don't want to be this way! My husband finally realized when I asked him to go to the doctor with me and he heard her talking with me about the disease (yes, disease. I don't care what any one thinks. That is what it is!) My husband realizes now what I have and how it affects me. My boss on the other hand still doesn't get it nor will he ever!

You're not alone in this! We here on DS all understand! I am here for you whenever you need me!

Hugs and kisses!
Amy

I'm so sorry for your pain. I don't think anyone understands what you are going through because you haven't told them. You are trying to be superwoman and now you are crashing and burning. Why don't you want to take medication? Is it because then you'll feel like you have been defeated by FMS? Don't be so hard on yourself.

Sit your hubby down and tell them what you've told us. Most men are sometimes clueless when it comes to our pain (sorry for those men on here that do understand) :). They aren't mindreaders and won't "get it". Here's a possible scenario for you: "I have FI-BRO-MY-ALGIA Syndrome". It's a real illness and I need your support. I can't do it alone. Working is getting harder, although I love it and need it, I'll need some extra help around the house with the kids so I'm able to continue working. It's either that, or I'm going on disability. You're choice.

Back to you KC. Have you tried Melatonin for sleeping? I take that every night and it has done wonders. I still get insomnia the odd time but most nights I get a good sleep. There's also other meds you can try that aren't opiods as well as other therapies so check with your doc or rheumy.

I really feel for you alot and do understand what you are going through! I work on voluntary basics in a chariry shop where i live. As i have strugged with difficults jobs over the years with my hearing loss and other things. I have chose not to work part or full time as i can't take the pressure anymore.
I do ok at my job at Oxfam and will carry on there for a long time as there is no pressure from the staff and i can do what ever i want to do there. If i get bored a little while the shop is quite i find something to do or i do one of my puzzle books till it get busy again. The staff don't mind me doing this as it's helps me pass the time and take my mind of my pain and problems.
I work about 8-16 hrs a week depending on what i am doing.