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What do you do when someone makes you so angry and

deleted_user
deleted_user
I ended up at lunch with my sister today and I am just so upset and angry with her right now. I did not lose my temper or say anything I will regret but gee whiz, I am still upset. My son is graduating in May, her daughter decided to get married in May. I told them both right away when the graduation was and that I would have his open house to do. Today at lunch my niece says oh your going to be are mistress and master of ceremony. Mind you my husband unknowingly agreed to be the photographer at their wedding, without knowing the date or consulting me.Graduation is one weekend and the wedding is the next. I told them I just did not feel I could do all of it, with Ethan's graduation. My sister says oh graduation is no big thing you just throw some food on the table.I helped with both of her daughters graduation parties, took the day off in front of them. I went to both of her daughters graduation ceremonies. We did not just throw the food on the table. She helped with my oldest sons open house but not my daughters. She did not come to her graduation either but did put in an appearance at the open house. This same sister made her daughter quit softball, when she realized that district softball tournaments were on the same day as the day she wanted for the open house. She could of kept the same day and pushed back the time, so her daughter could play. Today was almost more than I could bear, it really got to me. Well, you better never ask me to do it for one of your kids. I would not ever because she is just to pushy and its her way or no way, and I am more about compromise and finding a middle ground. She made a few other remarks that were meant to be hurtful as well and I just let them go. We had five of the nieces there with us today, if we had been alone i might have given her a piece of my mind. I love her to death but she can be the most self absorbed person I know. She totally dominated the conversation and hardly anyone else got to talk. The daughter who is getting married was there and did not really get to say much about the wedding. I felt bad for her, its her wedding and she did not get to share it. We heard about my sisters dog, her job, her car, her bowling leaque, her daughters birthday, all about the wedding, the cost of the wedding, her inability to find a decent dress, her health, what movies she has watched, and her sex life.Oh well now that i have vented maybe it will help. Sometimes I don't like being the nice sister, but I do know why I am the favorite Aunt. HaHa.
deleted_user
deleted_user
I know exactly how that feels. Sadly to say when my family gets together. They are all so busy talking about their jobs, their lives, their kids. I try to join in. But I always get cut off or interrupted or even ignored. I feel like an inch tall. And I am so unlike everyone in my family. Everyone is so strong independent and outspoken. I am reserved somewhat quiet and very passive. So we all clash to a major degree. It never fails that whenever we all get together at some point during the day someone always brings up my past or the choices I am making etc. And before it is all said and done I am balling my eyes out on my way home. They dont realize how they hurt me. And sometimes I don't think they really care if I am there or not. Sometimes I really feel like the black sheep. And as I stated on another post, this is my first year away from Thanksgiving per their request for unspoken reasons. So I feel pushed aside. Luckily my fiance and I will be going to his aunt's house. i don't know what is going to happen about Christmas. I love my family. I want to spend time with them becaue I never see any of them except at the holidays and we all live within an hour of each other!! Depending on how this holiday season unfolds, it may be time to start a new tradition with my fiance without them. I hate it that it has to be that way but maybe that is how they want it and maybe they just don't want to tell me. They just don't talk to me really anymore except the fake facade of oh how are you oh great well have a good one bye....sighs....my family is so detached from each other and absorbed within their own worlds. I guess it was too much for me to want the close knitness we all USED to have. Anyway. Do what you need to for your son and daughters. You have gone out of your way for hers. She will either understand or she won't. But in the end it will look bad on her not you if she does not show up and do her part or even jsut come to the open house. I would just let her dig her own grave so to speak. I know that sounds callous. But I am having to learn that I can't carry the world nor my family on my shoulders anymore. It is killing me mentally, emotionally, and physically. I hope things turn out for the best. I hope he has a wonderful graduation ceremony and open house!! Lots of luck. Ill be praying for you!

Hugs
Tink
deleted_user
deleted_user
You know I think that many people have these sort of family problems. In my case apart from one sister my family is OK, but then we don't get together very often (only every year or two when we manage to get over there) and that might help keep things peaceful, but I think it is more than that. On the other hand there are problems with my step family. I feel and have always felt that they would be quite happy if I dropped off the face of the earth. You can choose your friends but not your family.
Sorry to hear about the trauma but your loyalty is to your own family first and anything else is extra.
Hope that you can work through the situation and that you have a great graduation for your son. It is a once-in-a-lifetime event. Enjoy the day.
deleted_user
deleted_user
Guess what, your sister and I would not get along.
You are a SAINT to have sat there having to endure that ego.
As for your son's graduation,
THAT is your priority. He graduates but once --- You had already informed SIS of your comittment and it STANDS.
She loses, forget about anything that SHE planned for YOU.. It was deceitful and disrespectful of her to ASSUME you would give up your PROMISE to YOUR SON.

The next time your sister insist on taking over the conversation and describing the wedding, look her straight in the eye and tell her you did not ask her, you ask your neice.. if she continues to but in, tell her again that she is unfair to her daughter and you would not be surprised if your neice did not drop the plans and not have anything to do with mummy.
Ask her if she plans on ruling the life of her daughter and future son-in-law after they marry? When she is sitting there with her chin on the floor, tell her to mind her own business for ONCE and stop trying to control everything.
You may not get a Christmas Card, or a nice gift for your BIrthday, but take delight in knowing you will not have to endure her rath on your special day!!

I feel sorry for the Bride.. maybe she should talk to the Groom and THEY should decide to RUN Away, Far, Far Away...
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