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We are all responsible for our own deeds and actions. It is enough to manage our own lives. We are responsible for our own thoughts and needs. Every day I wake up and say I am a very special person I am responsible for me. We are responsible for our own happiness.
If someone is threatening suicide and says it is someone else's fault we have to consider that that person is not taking responsibility. We just do not have that kind of power over other people. We should not feel guilty. Remember the three Cs we did not cause it, we cannot cure it and we cannot control it.
These are some of the things I learned from the program for ACOA. Here's a Bill of Rights from the 12 step program.
Adult Children of Alcoholics and Dysfunctional Families
Bill of Rights
I have a right to all those good times that I have longed for all these years and didn't get.
I have a right to joy in this life, right here, right now- not just a momentary rush of euphoria, but something more substantive.
I have a right to relax and have fun in a non-alcoholic and non-destructive way.
I have the right to actively pursue people, places, and situations that will help me in achieving a good life.
I have a right to say no whenever I feel something is not safe or I am not ready.
I have a right to not participate in either the active or passive "crazy-making" behavior of parents, siblings, or others.
I have a right to take calculated risks and to experiment with new strategies.
I have a right to change my tune, my strategy, and my funny equations.
I have a right to "mess up", to make mistakes, to "blow it", to disappoint myself, and to fall short of the mark.
I have a right to leave the company of people who deliberately or inadvertently put me down, lay a guilt trip on me, manipulate or humiliate me, including my alcoholic parent, my nonalcoholic parent, or any other member of my family.
I have a right to put an end to conversations with people who make me feel put down and humiliated.
I have a right to all my feelings.
I have a right to trust my feelings, my judgment, my hunches, my intuition.
I have a right to develop myself as a whole person, emotionally, spiritually, mentally, physically, sexually, and psychologically.
I have a right to express my feelings in a non-destructive way and at a safe time and place.
If someone is threatening suicide and says it is someone else's fault we have to consider that that person is not taking responsibility. We just do not have that kind of power over other people. We should not feel guilty. Remember the three Cs we did not cause it, we cannot cure it and we cannot control it.
These are some of the things I learned from the program for ACOA. Here's a Bill of Rights from the 12 step program.
Adult Children of Alcoholics and Dysfunctional Families
Bill of Rights
I have a right to all those good times that I have longed for all these years and didn't get.
I have a right to joy in this life, right here, right now- not just a momentary rush of euphoria, but something more substantive.
I have a right to relax and have fun in a non-alcoholic and non-destructive way.
I have the right to actively pursue people, places, and situations that will help me in achieving a good life.
I have a right to say no whenever I feel something is not safe or I am not ready.
I have a right to not participate in either the active or passive "crazy-making" behavior of parents, siblings, or others.
I have a right to take calculated risks and to experiment with new strategies.
I have a right to change my tune, my strategy, and my funny equations.
I have a right to "mess up", to make mistakes, to "blow it", to disappoint myself, and to fall short of the mark.
I have a right to leave the company of people who deliberately or inadvertently put me down, lay a guilt trip on me, manipulate or humiliate me, including my alcoholic parent, my nonalcoholic parent, or any other member of my family.
I have a right to put an end to conversations with people who make me feel put down and humiliated.
I have a right to all my feelings.
I have a right to trust my feelings, my judgment, my hunches, my intuition.
I have a right to develop myself as a whole person, emotionally, spiritually, mentally, physically, sexually, and psychologically.
I have a right to express my feelings in a non-destructive way and at a safe time and place.
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I have been here before, a long long time ago and now I am back.Forgive me for not just saying what I want to say,even under a triple dose of antidepressants it is still raw and seeping and I am hesitant at revealing it as at least under the bandages around my heart I don,t have to look at how raw and wounded.My child was cleaved from my heart by his own actions. my child of ten,turning eleven...
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theatre and I are there already. I'm having a very berry tea with crackers, cheese and cherry tomatoes and she's having a joint with some beer and we're both on really comfy recliners on thick pile carpet. we need some help with the decor if anyone is around??
When we are all dealing with other highly emotional issues in our own lives, we do not need others making us feel worse. I am praying for Dixie4me. I will also pray for everyone else here who needs it.
Sharon, I will also pray for you. I believe we should just let this die down, as Dixie needs us, regardless of what set her off towards self-destruction, and I am saying this with the utmost respect to you.
Hugs to you all!
Laurie
I hope we are all back on track as of today!!
HUGS!
Laurie
I'm not sure what you mean by your Thank you. Others have posted a thank you in this post, but I don't believe they meant it in a bad or condecending way??? Just asking....
I have a right to leave the company of people who deliberately or inadvertently put me down, lay a guilt trip on me, manipulate or humiliate me, including my alcoholic parent, my nonalcoholic parent, or any other member of my family.
I have a right to put an end to conversations with people who make me feel put down and humiliated.