
Fibromyalgia Support Group
You're not alone in your pain. Fibromyalgia is a condition that can be difficult to diagnose and manage. If you're trying to cope with pain throughout your body, sleep problems, general fatigue, or other common fibromyalgia symptoms, you're in the right place. The community is here for you to talk about therapies and share your challenges.

deleted_user
How is that people can tell lies to others even if the other person knows you are lying. For instance, if someone comes up and says "how are you feeling" most people "im fine or ok etc" When they are in terrible pain etc. And this applies to so many situations too. What urks me the most is I know I am not gonna complain to strangers etc however, but when your OWN FAMILY only wants to her positive no detail fake answers so they can sleep better at night. WTF is up with that? Am I the only person left on this planet who believes in honesty. I am not saying be hateful or cruel or mean. But I know how to say things without it sounding vicious or mean etc. And why ask me how I am doing if you don't really want to know the REAL answer? Is it just a sympathy , well at least I asked kinda thing? What you want brownie points because you followed etiquette and protocol so you can get to the real reason of your call or the point of your conversation that has absolutely nothing to do with me and how i am doing? Don't get me wrong, I get this all the time from my family. All they want to hear is positive things. And it isnt that I am so negative all the time but it is like they dont want to hear it except when it is coming from then. And even then if you get mad or cry they dont want a come back. it is like they want to throw their crappy words in your spoon and you are too just open wide and swallow hard with a smile on your face! Why do people think it is ok to be fake with people who are supposed to be closed to you who are supposed to love you?? SHEESH...Sorry I guess I am venting...
Do any of you all have this problem or smoething like it? Or am I totally off my rocker? Maybe I should close up my heart and shut my mouth and not be so "honest" with them. Maybe that will work??!!??
Tink
Do any of you all have this problem or smoething like it? Or am I totally off my rocker? Maybe I should close up my heart and shut my mouth and not be so "honest" with them. Maybe that will work??!!??
Tink
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Any time you want to vent or say exactly how you feel, go right ahead. This is the place where you won't get shut down.
Lots of hugs,
Jan
I understand how you feel. I am also guilty of holding back around family and friends.
A good rule of thumb for me is would I want to hear from someone else what I am about to say. If it would turn me off then I keep it to myself. Likewise if my family brings up things I don't want to hear I leave the room.
I can't stand gossip and when that starts I'm outa there. The same goes for bragging.
I feel most comfortable with pleasant conversation.
Try focusing on the one good thing that DID happen. You could say "my night was good, I got lots of sleep last night" or "okay, I was able to take a few hours for myself" or something along those lines.
When I go see my rheumy, he asks how I'm doing and I say okay. He looks at me and says really? I think he is observing the nicecities and he is actually asking me how I feel, LOL!
So now when someone asks me how I'm feeling, if I know them I'll say "oh don't ask, but how are you?" If they really want to know, they'll stop me and say no really - how are you doing...otherwise, I pretend like they didn't ask, cause I really don't want to waste my telling explaining this to someone who really doesn't care. jilly
if it is in a quiet atmoshphere with a close friend...and the expression of real concern is in their eyes..easily seen...then i will tell them Exactly how I am doing...and ask them the same !!
People are in such a hurry, they don't have time to really listen to what we have to say. If someone does stop long enough to hear the answer, I just say I'm still above ground and they laugh and go on.
My family doesn't ask anymore, because, they know they are going to find out how I feel.
It's actually...ugh...I can't even talk about it I'll get so ugly.
But you ARE NOT alone withi this at all. My other family members either don't ask, OR don't want to hear anything but...."FINE"...which I'm usually not...
LOL....so we're here for you Tink...remember that...
Love and hugs and "How are ya today??"
Morus
But I do find people don't know how to respond if I say "been better"
It is kind of funny. I have family members who act the same way so I just don't talk to them about that stuff. I talk to the people who really care and understand. Or to those who can handle my bad days too.
I get this from my family all the time. I basically have no relationship with family because of it. I talk about my hurts with those who I know care and will listen. It is a shame people are like this! Cathy