I just wanted to let everyone know-especially the ones who have unsuccessfully been trying to get a hold of me-that I am not ignoring anyone.I spent the 2 weeks before Christmas in my 2nd home-that's right,for those of you who know me,that would be the hospital.I finally signed myself out so I could go with my husband and children to Colorado(to visit my in laws)for the hollidays.However,I had planned on getting on DS from their house....but unfortunately,my life can't be simple.We ALL got the stomach FLU-lasted a week.Worst Christmas I ever had by far!!!!!!When I was in the hospital this time they found more crap wrong and had to do 4 stomach biopsies....well when I got the virus and started vommitting I accidentally ripped open ALL of my stomach biopsies which put me in the throws of hell.I could keep going,there's more AND it gets WORSE but I think you get my drift as 2 where I've been and how life has been treating me.I REALLY need a break from having to live in the freaking hospital which is why I was looking forward to getting away....but all it did was remind me that even 1500 miles away....is that I'm sick.I'm not just talking about fibro,that's just icing(which I've said on here b4 & I'll say it again,to me is,as far as quality of life is concerned,is my WORST disease.I MAKE sure to to tell all the specialists that I have to see this cuz they know my other illness is horrible and terminal.I do this to show them if a person like myself is as sick me but yet I claim FIBRO is horrible,maybe they'll listen to their patients who are just fibro patients)....I'm really sick....and I'm SO PISSED OFF!!!!!!I want to know how doctors can look a 29 yr. old,wife and mother of 3,in the eye and tell them that it's time to stop fighting and start planning their funeral and "tying up lose ends" AND NOT CARE AT ALL!!!???!!!???IT"S NOT RIGHT!!!I wasn't planning on taking this post in this direction....sorry....I just feel like I'm going to blow!!!I can't wear a fake brave face ANYMORE!!!!If I was THEIR family,they'd keep fighting.Instead they want to send me to Cleveland Clinic,hell they've already sent me to The Mayo Clinic....and there they know they won't see you again,so they sure had no problem telling me that there was nothing else that could be done and recommended Pallitive Care-docs who dope you up while you die.NO I'M NOT THROUGH FIGHTING AND I THINK IF A PATIENT STILL WANTS TO FIGHT THAN BY GOD THE VERY LEAST A DOCTOR CAN DO IS TO NOT GIVE UP EITHER.HELL,I'M THE ONE SUFFERING NOT THEM!!!!!Ok.....I think I feel a little bit better now having said that.Oh,back to my whole reason for posting...I will reply to everyone's PM's they sent to me while I was out of commission...just give me a little while...I have 52 messages!!!I also still have to go back in to have a Central line put in again.I MISSED YOU ALL SO VERY MUCH!!!I'LL TALK TO U SOON!!!LOTS OF LOVE,LESLIE C.
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