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Good Morning, ALL!
I finally feel up to posting today. It has been a very rough couple of weeks for me and my family. I want to say a GIANT THANK YOU to all who were concerned and sent hugs and prayers to me and my family.
That being said, I'll get back on topic.
I couldn't sleep too good last night. I got up about 12:30 a.m. to 2:30 a.m. and it was snowing! First snow of the year. Very pretty to look at out my window this morning, but of course with it comes pain.
I'm sitting here with my heating pad behind my back while I write this. I have a Dr. Appt at 9:15 this a.m. I am going to ask him to up my xanax. Dealing with all we went through with Dad's passing, has my anxiety and pain levels up. Not to mention My neice's misfortune of losing her pregnancy. She is doing ok, in spite of everything.
Then...My sister developed 2 cysts, one on each breast, more like boils I guess you could say. We took her to the ER Friday, because she was in so much pain. The Dr. lanced both breast and drained the cysts, sent the yucky stuff off for biopsy. My poor sister! One was right on the nipple! and one was under the left breast.
So...Nurse Laurie to the rescue. I have been going over everyday all weekend and changing her bandages and cleaning the open wounds they left. She has a Dr. Appt this morning, but says she feels SO much better after I pulled the packing out yesterday. It looked so nasty, I thought it would get infected. So I may get my hands slapped for taking it out., LOL! I took special care to wear sterile gloves and changed them often between each breast, so hopefully no infection.
My Mom had a very hard weekend missing Dad, and we tried to spend a lot of time with her as well, so I am a nervous wreck, and tired out, and about 3 hours sleep last night!
So of course pain levels are higher from lack of sleep, anxiety, and stress. Not to mention the weather!
I hope you all have a better day than I am having. Take care of YOU, and enjoy your day! I have to go to Mom's today and help her muddle through ome bills, and just visit with her awhile, she is so lonely.
Love and hugs,
Laurie
I finally feel up to posting today. It has been a very rough couple of weeks for me and my family. I want to say a GIANT THANK YOU to all who were concerned and sent hugs and prayers to me and my family.
That being said, I'll get back on topic.
I couldn't sleep too good last night. I got up about 12:30 a.m. to 2:30 a.m. and it was snowing! First snow of the year. Very pretty to look at out my window this morning, but of course with it comes pain.
I'm sitting here with my heating pad behind my back while I write this. I have a Dr. Appt at 9:15 this a.m. I am going to ask him to up my xanax. Dealing with all we went through with Dad's passing, has my anxiety and pain levels up. Not to mention My neice's misfortune of losing her pregnancy. She is doing ok, in spite of everything.
Then...My sister developed 2 cysts, one on each breast, more like boils I guess you could say. We took her to the ER Friday, because she was in so much pain. The Dr. lanced both breast and drained the cysts, sent the yucky stuff off for biopsy. My poor sister! One was right on the nipple! and one was under the left breast.
So...Nurse Laurie to the rescue. I have been going over everyday all weekend and changing her bandages and cleaning the open wounds they left. She has a Dr. Appt this morning, but says she feels SO much better after I pulled the packing out yesterday. It looked so nasty, I thought it would get infected. So I may get my hands slapped for taking it out., LOL! I took special care to wear sterile gloves and changed them often between each breast, so hopefully no infection.
My Mom had a very hard weekend missing Dad, and we tried to spend a lot of time with her as well, so I am a nervous wreck, and tired out, and about 3 hours sleep last night!
So of course pain levels are higher from lack of sleep, anxiety, and stress. Not to mention the weather!
I hope you all have a better day than I am having. Take care of YOU, and enjoy your day! I have to go to Mom's today and help her muddle through ome bills, and just visit with her awhile, she is so lonely.
Love and hugs,
Laurie
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I have been here before, a long long time ago and now I am back.Forgive me for not just saying what I want to say,even under a triple dose of antidepressants it is still raw and seeping and I am hesitant at revealing it as at least under the bandages around my heart I don,t have to look at how raw and wounded.My child was cleaved from my heart by his own actions. my child of ten,turning eleven...
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theatre and I are there already. I'm having a very berry tea with crackers, cheese and cherry tomatoes and she's having a joint with some beer and we're both on really comfy recliners on thick pile carpet. we need some help with the decor if anyone is around??
I hope you have a nice, relaxing and painfree day visiting with your mom. Take one moment at a time.
But please read what I'm going to say and consider it. You have an illness/disease and this can be made worse by being a caregiver. I think you are a wonderfully caring person and I admire you for caring for your sister's wounds and mom's emotional grief, HOWEVER, don't forget about YOU in the process.
After my dad died, I felt I couldn't leave my mom alone for a waking moment. Finally, I went to the house one day and she was sitting on the porch crying, holding a picture of them at their wedding. She looked up at me and said, "Maureen, you can't make this better for me, I have to go through this. Go home and let me grieve. Don't worry. Take care of yourself."
I felt horrible leaving as I watched her on that porch but I left. As I drove away I prayed for her and told God I was sorry if this wasn't the right thing to do. But it was. Turns out, me being there was OK, ONCE in a while....but not every day all day or most of the day.
Make sure you don't run yourself down. Your flare could be the snow we're getting...and I think you're getting it too AND it could be your loving caring nature. So, be yourself, but ALSO take care of YOURSELF as you would your mom, sis or friend. OK????
I hope this made sense, 'cause I don't want to see you throw yourself into a MAJOR flare....as if there is a distinction!?!?
Anyway, love and hugs and let me/us know how the doctor visit goes/went.
:)
Morus
Peace and hope to all!
Morus
We have been trying to give Mom her time alone, but we do stop in and check on her. But we call her first to make sure she doesn't mind. thanks alot, I love my friends here!!!!
hugs and love!
Morus
Wrote orders for a mammogram, YUCK!!! And told me if he had to up my xanax he would send me to a phsychiatrist. Been there, done that in Florida. Its in my records retard!! He told me I need to grieve for my Dad. I told him thats not the whole problem, trying to be there for everyone is the problem, and my anxiety level is off the charts. So he says it's ok to take an extra one, every now and then. What a moron!! He saw in my records where my Dr. in Florida of 15 years had me on 1 mg xanax 4x a day, but says thats too much. How the hell does he know??? He does not live in this body! He has me on .5 mg 3x a day and it just isn't working. Now I am having trouble sleeping. He asked if I was taking my trazadone. I told him I was, but since Dad died, I've been having horrible nightmares when I take it. He says take it anyway. Nah..I don't think so, buster.YOU take it!!!
Sorry, RANT over! Thanks for listening!
I lost my dad 9 years ago, i can tell u its still fresh in my mind as if it were yesterday. He was an alcoholic and had alot of health problems. My parents were divorced so me and hubby always had to make sure he was ok, like several times a day. I know I complained alot, he would call me drunk, babbling, bcuase he couldnt find something, so id go over, find it right away, 20 min. later he'd be calling me again. Id bitch about it, however i would give anything to recieve a phone call from him. There is so much he is missing out on, he never got to see my trio, however he was very close to my oldest son. Losing my dad has been one of the hardest things ive gone thru.
I have to agree with a PP, please take care of you.
I am sorry about your crappy dr. apt. I had one of those just a week ago today, and have not been the same since, i would just like to slap these docs upside their heads and say , get a damn clue!
Is this doc the only doc you see? Can u go to your family doc and talk about these issues you are having? My mom recommended that i go see my family doc about all of this bcuase ive gotten myself all worked up over this dr. and what his plans are with me that ive cried for the last week, and i dont cry.
I am also a smoker, and yes we know that we need to quit, but to someone that doesnt smoke, they truly have no idea how hard it is to just up and quit. My rheumo has been talking about putting me on the chantrix but has put it off the last 3 apts, bcause he either changed or upped my meds, and didnt want me to start the chantrix along with anything else. At my apt. monday he didnt even want to discuss the chantrix.
A close friend of mine took chantrix, she experienced nightmares from it but did quit smoking in 2 weeks of being on it. We have not smoked in our house in 10 years, these last few weeks i just dont care, if im the only one home i smoke in the house, and boy is hubby mad about it but i just dont care, and im smoking more than normal and am fighting with my sinuses over it.
I know i shouldnt encourage anyone smoking however i think that right now is a bad time for you to try and quit smoking. You need to get a better handle on your pain and sleeping, then start on the stop smoking thing.
*hugs* if u ever want to talk feel free to pm me, im here for you.