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Today I have the priviledge of being invited to my friends parents house to say goodbye to his father who is terminal with cancer. Why is it that I am finding this so difficult? Maybe because he is still completely coherant and very much alive. His father doesn't wish to have a funeral or wake and would like us to be able to see him while he is still alert. I have known my friend for 20 years and his parents have always been such and inspiration in my life. They have been married 47 years and he has fought cancer for 10 of them. I think I will learn from this day that it is never the "wrong time" to tell someone how much they mean to you and that life should be celebrated while we are still on this earth, not underneath it.
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A friend sent this to me..As far as I can see, grief will never truly end.It may become softer overtime, more gentleand some days will feel sharp.But grief will last as long as Love does - ForeverIt's simply the way the absence of your loved onemanifests in your heart. A deep longing accompaniedby the deepest Love some days. The heavy fog mayreturn and the next day, it may recede.Once again, it's...
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Today is my 25th birthday, to my somewhat lack of surprise I can see already no one really seems to care. I've always been the kinda person to make sure that everyone I Care about feels appreciated and knew somebody had their back. I can count 4 times this year when I Went out of my way to make sure a "friend" felt good on their birthday, especially if they got left hanging. Its early in the...
Your post shows how much admiration and respect you have for this person.....Expressing this to him while he still is HERE has got to be a great gift to him...Knowing that he's made a difference for you and others....
It takes great strength to be the giver of this gift to him....I applaude you.....While I also am blown away with the strength of this man.....accepting what is happening to him, and following his own wishes. (I don't know if I said any of this right, and if I didn't please forgive me)
Hugs, Debbie
Thank you for your reply. It turns out that our friends father had a rapid decline. We thought he would be coherent and recognize us but he didn't. We were still so very honored to be able to say goodbye. His wife was so tired and she was really appreciative of the visit from us. She gave us advice on our relationship while her husband was struggling to breathe. He passed away today at 3:00. Thank God it was swift and merciful. I pray he is in a much better place now. Thanks for reaching out.....
We were able to say things to each other we had never been able to say before. He gave special things to each person....things he had really put some thought into. Nothing much, because he wasn't a man of material things....but some small things that hold such pleasant memories in them.
It is a time I will never regret and always remember. I hope that I am able to do the same thing when my time comes.
Sending great strength to all.....and lots of gentle hugs!
HUGS to you, rhuann, and good for you that you saw him and his family before he passed on.
I lost my mom when I was 18, without warning, and all of these years later there are still so many things left unsaid. I admire this man for the way he's handling his mortality, and I admire you for accepting the gift he's offered you.
These people are obviously important to you, and it will do him a lot of good for you to let him know how important he's been in your life. The good we do for others lives on - that's a great gift you can give him - the knowledge that he is leaving a living legacy in the hearts and minds of people he came into contact with in his life.