When I sit and think
of how I used to be
I ask my husband,
"Do you remember me" ?
we used to laugh alot,
we used to run and play
and fall into
each others arms at the end of the day

Now you come home,
find me in our bed
blankets tight around me
pillows under my head
the house is a mess
, supper not fixed
i thought I could do it
but my plans got nixed

I try to explain to you
just how I feel
that I am NOT Lazy
that my Pain is Real

You look at me
with those beautiful eyes
and say "be back later"
and go have a beer with the guys

so I just lay there
feeling lost and alone
remote in one hand
the other the phone

Tomorrow is a new day
i think to myself
maybe i will find a way
to get my life off this shelf
I will get up and shower
and go make my bed
and pray that the fog stays
out of my head

I will shake out the rugs
and vacuum the floor
and with a deep breath
I will head out the door

I am going in search of
finding out where i went
and i come back home
with my energy spent

I Pray that I have found
the right words to say
so you will fall into bed with me
at the end of this day

I miss you so much
your laughter, your fun
I miss being outside
with you under the sun

I miss the quiet moments
and the long talks
I miss holding your hand
when we go for long walks

I want you to know
I understand how you feel
I do not LOOK sick
so how can this be REAL ?

Plz understand
I do not want this in our life
I want to be your Friend
your Lover, your wife

Remember who I was
before this came along
I was in love with life
and I danced to lifes song

Just have patients
and remember where love lives
I will be right here
giveing all I can give

but if you decide
you can take it no more
remember one thing
as you walk out the door
I love you enough
to be here for you
or let you go
If thats what you decide to do...

Bonnie Fetch