I had my monthly visit with my pain management doctor today. she used to give me a really rough time about my weight and suggesting that my weight had allot to do with the amount of pain I was in. I have explained to this woman at least 6 times in the past year and a half that I have been seeing her that I spent 2 years on a weight loss program where I was down 100lbs from my heaviest weight and that was when all my pain problems started. of course trying one med after another and not being able to keep up the major exercising I was doing before to help control my weight some of it has crept back on, she stays so focused on this it just really makes me mad. I left there today in tears feeling like a fat, lazy, worthless human being and like it was my own fault for hurting like I do. then I started thinking about all the conditions that contribute to my pain and suffering. I have arthritis bad in both hips, have had plantar fasciatis in my left foot for over six months now making me walk with a limp, which she asked me why I walked that way today, all the joints in my body hurt and swell on a regular basis, I have bone spurs in my neck and spine, a bulging disc, degenerative disc disease, have had my coccyx removed, suffer from depression because of hurting 24/7 and there are health problems in my family right now that keep me stressed to the hilt. I told my husband if I wasn't taking morphine and would have to be put in a rehab facility to be weaned off I would quit going to this doctor all together. she is no help to me other than getting me dependent on all this medication. I am now on morphine, hydrocodone, flexeril, neurontin, lyrica, prozac, ambien CR, 2 blood pressure medications and an antacid because I keep heartburn without it. all this and during the last 3 weeks I have had 3-4 migraines a week and have still kept going. it's not like I am a lazy person. I am not able to work anymore due to my pain but I have so many other things going on in my life it isn't as if I live on the couch eating bon-bon's ya know? am I wrong to be upset? what would you do if you were me? I could really use some guidance here.
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