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ragingfog
Decenber 8; 6:00 PM. It started to snow. The first snow of the season and the wife and I took our cocktails and sat for hours by the window watching the huge soft flakes drift down from heaven. It looke like a Grandma Moses Print. So romantic we felt like newlyweds again. I love the snow!!
December 9; We woke to a beautiful blanket of crystal white snow covering every inch of the landscape. What a fantastic sight!! Can there be a more lovely place in the whole world? Moving here was the best idea I've ever had. Shoveled for the first time in years and felt like a boy again. I did both our driveway and the sidewalks. This afternoon the snowlpow came along and covered up the sidewalks and closed in the diriveway, so I got to shovel again. What a perfect life!!
December 12; The sun has melted all our lovely snow. Such a disappointment. My neighbor tells me not to worry, we'll definitely have a white Christmas. No snow on Christmas would be awful! Bob says we'll have so much snow by the end of winter that I'll never want to see snow again. I don't think that's possible. Bob is such a nice man I'm glad he's our neighbor.
December 14; Snow lovely snow! 8" last night. The temperature dropped to -20. The cold makes everything sparkle so. The wind took my breath away, but I warmed up by shoveling the driveway and sidewalks. This is the life!! The snowplow came back this afternoon and buried everything again. I didn't realize I would have to do quite this much shoveling , but I'll certainly get back in shape this way. I wish I wouldn't huff and puff so.
December15: 20" forecast. Sold my van and bought a 4/4 Blazer. Bought snow tires for the wife's car and 2 extra shovels. Stocked the freezer. The wife wants a wood stove in case the electricity goes out. I think that's silly.We aren't in Alaska, after all!!
December 16; Ice storm this mornig. Fell on my ass on the ice in the driveway putting down salt. Hurt like hell. The wife laughted for an hour, which I think was very cruel.
December 17; Still way below freezing. Roads are too icy to go anywhere. Electricity was off for 5 hours. I had to pile the blankets on to stay warm. Nothing to do but stare at the wife and try not to irrate her. Guess I should have bought the wood stove, but I won't admit it to her. Man I hate it when she's right. I can't believe I'm freezing to death on my own living room.
December 20; Electricity's back on, but had another 14" of that damn stuff last nght. More shoveling. Took all day. Damn snowplow came by twice. Tried to find a neighbour kid to shovel but they said they're too busy playing hockey. I think they're lying. Called the only hardware store around to see about buying a snow blower and they're out. Might have another shipment in Marvh, I think they're lying. Bob say I have to shovel or the city will have it done and bill me. I think he's lying.
December 22; Bob was right about a white Christmas because 13 more inches of the white shit fell today, and it's so cold it probably won't melt till August. Took me 45 minutes to get all dressed up to go out to shovel and then I had to piss. By the time I got undressed, pissed and dressed again, I was too tired to shovel. Tried to hire Bob who has a plow on his trick for the rest of the winter. but he says he's too busy. I think the asshole is lying.
December 23; Only 2" of snow today. And it warmed up to 0. The wife wanted me to decorate the front of the house this morning.
December 24; Snow packed so hard by snowplow, I broke the shovel. Thought I was having a heart attack. If I ever catch the son of a bitch who drives that snowplow, I'll drag him through the snow by his balls. I know he hides around the corner and waits for me to finish shoveling and then he comes down the street at a 100 miles an hour and throws snow all over where I've just been!! Tonight the wife wanted me to sing Christmas carols with her and open out presents, but I was busy watching for the damn snowplow.
December 25; Merry Christmas. 20 more inches of the damn slop tonight. Snowed in. The idea of shoveling makes my blood boil. I hate the snow! Then the snowplow driver came by asking for a donation and I hit him over the head with my shovel. The wife says I have a bad attitude. I think she's an idiot. If I have to watch" It's a Wonderful Life" one more time. I'm gong to kill her.
December 26; Still snowed in. Why the hell did I ever move here? It was all HER idea. Shes's really getting on my nerves!!
December 27; Temperature dropped to -30 and the pipes froze.
December 28; Warmed up up above -50. Still snowed in. THE BITCH is driving me crazy.
December 29; 10 more inches. Bob says I hsve to shovel the roof or it could cave in. That's the silliest thing I ever heard. How dumb does he think I am?
December 30; Roof caved in. The snowplow driver is suing me for a million dollars for the bump in his head. The wife went home to her mother. 9" predicted.
December 31 Set fire to what's left of the house. No more shoveling.
January 8; I feel so good. I just love those little white pills they keep giving me. Why am I tied to the bed????
December 9; We woke to a beautiful blanket of crystal white snow covering every inch of the landscape. What a fantastic sight!! Can there be a more lovely place in the whole world? Moving here was the best idea I've ever had. Shoveled for the first time in years and felt like a boy again. I did both our driveway and the sidewalks. This afternoon the snowlpow came along and covered up the sidewalks and closed in the diriveway, so I got to shovel again. What a perfect life!!
December 12; The sun has melted all our lovely snow. Such a disappointment. My neighbor tells me not to worry, we'll definitely have a white Christmas. No snow on Christmas would be awful! Bob says we'll have so much snow by the end of winter that I'll never want to see snow again. I don't think that's possible. Bob is such a nice man I'm glad he's our neighbor.
December 14; Snow lovely snow! 8" last night. The temperature dropped to -20. The cold makes everything sparkle so. The wind took my breath away, but I warmed up by shoveling the driveway and sidewalks. This is the life!! The snowplow came back this afternoon and buried everything again. I didn't realize I would have to do quite this much shoveling , but I'll certainly get back in shape this way. I wish I wouldn't huff and puff so.
December15: 20" forecast. Sold my van and bought a 4/4 Blazer. Bought snow tires for the wife's car and 2 extra shovels. Stocked the freezer. The wife wants a wood stove in case the electricity goes out. I think that's silly.We aren't in Alaska, after all!!
December 16; Ice storm this mornig. Fell on my ass on the ice in the driveway putting down salt. Hurt like hell. The wife laughted for an hour, which I think was very cruel.
December 17; Still way below freezing. Roads are too icy to go anywhere. Electricity was off for 5 hours. I had to pile the blankets on to stay warm. Nothing to do but stare at the wife and try not to irrate her. Guess I should have bought the wood stove, but I won't admit it to her. Man I hate it when she's right. I can't believe I'm freezing to death on my own living room.
December 20; Electricity's back on, but had another 14" of that damn stuff last nght. More shoveling. Took all day. Damn snowplow came by twice. Tried to find a neighbour kid to shovel but they said they're too busy playing hockey. I think they're lying. Called the only hardware store around to see about buying a snow blower and they're out. Might have another shipment in Marvh, I think they're lying. Bob say I have to shovel or the city will have it done and bill me. I think he's lying.
December 22; Bob was right about a white Christmas because 13 more inches of the white shit fell today, and it's so cold it probably won't melt till August. Took me 45 minutes to get all dressed up to go out to shovel and then I had to piss. By the time I got undressed, pissed and dressed again, I was too tired to shovel. Tried to hire Bob who has a plow on his trick for the rest of the winter. but he says he's too busy. I think the asshole is lying.
December 23; Only 2" of snow today. And it warmed up to 0. The wife wanted me to decorate the front of the house this morning.
December 24; Snow packed so hard by snowplow, I broke the shovel. Thought I was having a heart attack. If I ever catch the son of a bitch who drives that snowplow, I'll drag him through the snow by his balls. I know he hides around the corner and waits for me to finish shoveling and then he comes down the street at a 100 miles an hour and throws snow all over where I've just been!! Tonight the wife wanted me to sing Christmas carols with her and open out presents, but I was busy watching for the damn snowplow.
December 25; Merry Christmas. 20 more inches of the damn slop tonight. Snowed in. The idea of shoveling makes my blood boil. I hate the snow! Then the snowplow driver came by asking for a donation and I hit him over the head with my shovel. The wife says I have a bad attitude. I think she's an idiot. If I have to watch" It's a Wonderful Life" one more time. I'm gong to kill her.
December 26; Still snowed in. Why the hell did I ever move here? It was all HER idea. Shes's really getting on my nerves!!
December 27; Temperature dropped to -30 and the pipes froze.
December 28; Warmed up up above -50. Still snowed in. THE BITCH is driving me crazy.
December 29; 10 more inches. Bob says I hsve to shovel the roof or it could cave in. That's the silliest thing I ever heard. How dumb does he think I am?
December 30; Roof caved in. The snowplow driver is suing me for a million dollars for the bump in his head. The wife went home to her mother. 9" predicted.
December 31 Set fire to what's left of the house. No more shoveling.
January 8; I feel so good. I just love those little white pills they keep giving me. Why am I tied to the bed????

deleted_user
Lol!!! He must have been from Florida. Thanks for the laugh, Hugs, Keleee :)

deleted_user
I think I read this last year, it was funny then and funny now. It how we truly feel by the time spring comes.

Dixe4me
LOL cute, thanks for sharing.

deleted_user
Sounds like the first winter I spent up North. The next year, I wrote my first Country song "I Don't Love You Enough To Live In St.Paul"

deleted_user
LMAO!!! that was wonderfull...

JillyT
this is one of my favorites, thanks for the laugh! hugs jilly

deleted_user
I loved this ragingfog. It made me laugh good and hard. This is the first time that I have seen this since I became a member of DS. Keep writing them, bro!

deleted_user
That is so funny! Now I just need to see a diary of an ice scraper!!!

deleted_user
Oh funny I need this!!!!!!!
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