Well, I do get this because for last 2 yrs I've been struggling to regain my energy level. Not getting a lot of help. So here's the thing. Pretty soon we have to admit that this IS life. We're not going to "get it back." Right now. It's all we get. So whatever it is, it's the process that counts. Not the destination. The destination may never come. If one stops living on a daily basis, or even an hourly basis, one can lose years and a lot of chances at joy and peace. Dolphin, hope you can find 5 min. of peace today.

Well if you do get your disability you should get either medicade or medicare.That will help you pay for your medical bills and your medications. So that should help a little bit. I hope this has helped out a little!!I am sending you some BIG HUGS!! XXXXXXXXXX's

I dont know about where you are, but in Missouri, you qualify for medicaid after two yrs after you are awarded disability. If you are in low income housing, they base your rent and utility bills etc based on your income. I spoke to a friend at church and she told me that when she got laid off, she lived in low income housing and paid nothing as she had no income coming in at all....
So far as your life being over, let me tell you this.
When I broke my foot, due to an imbecile doctor, he didnt treat me after the six weeks....so I treated myself and put myself back on crutches.
I would not advise people to treat themselves. He wanted me to get an MRI done bec after 6 weeks I still had not healed right. (your healing can be very slow with fm, took me three yrs to heal from reduction mammaplasty, breast reduction)
Anyway so jackass wouldnt treat me. As a result, I was on crutches for a long period of time which is a bad move..dont ever treat yourself people, I developed disuse osteoporosis in my feet and both legs as a result of being on crutches for so long. I am better now due to walking a lot per my real doctors instructions.

Btw a REAL doctor later told me why did that other doc want to do an mri that isnt necessary....
ANYWAY my point is this, honey we adapt WELL when we are broken. I am fast on crutches, I still use a wheelchair when I go to the mall, and I am Quick Draw Mcgraw in a wheelchair. In fact, my friend was talking to me and the next INSTANT I was gone..he was talking to himself lolol I am quick honey
bottom line is this, you WILL adapt, you will be creative about how you get around and do things.

I saw a lady on tv with no arms, who has a child. Honey chile, she can put on her MASCARA with her TOES!!!!!!!! In fact, her child is so used to seeing Mommy use her feet that the child started doing that too although the child does have arms.....
point is, you will make it work when you want to and you will get GOOD at it.

let me clarify
I didnt break my foot due to the doctor lol I did that on my own...and then when after 6 weeks he couldnt milk me for more money with an MRI that wasnt needed I might add, his staff cut me off and he never did return my calls...I got referred to a real doctor in the overland park ks area who was on the ball, LISTENED to you, and took X rays and such. He CARES about his patients.
he was WONDERFUL!!!!!
his name is Dr Romito for anyone who might need him in the KS area lol

I think I would adapt better if we moved away from here. I just think a fresh start is necessary for me to get a fresh start.. does that make sense?
If I'm going to have a new life.. I need to be in a new town.
That's just how I feel..

Well if that is not financially doable, then I say you can get a fresh start with a fresh mindset. I know a lot of people said move from where you are....when I was working jobs SUCK here unless you want to deliver pizza for a living...which was not my dream job goal yanno
But moving requires funds. Not only that but where would I move to with no money to do so. So I get where you are coming from. But maybe if you had more friends there it would be better?
Good friends are hard to find then when you have a chronic illness and folks find out they act like you have leprosy or something, damn people are so dumb
but anyway hon lol I want you to make the best of where you are maybe time for a vacation?

I have had this same thought process now..for the past several years...

I am Still trying to find "My Place" in this world of Fibromyalgia...I feel as Tho I am just exsisting, Unable to go in the Direction I want to go, at the speed with which i want to go...and everytime I turn a new corner, thinkin I have found a Path around In My general Direction, I HIT a Brick Wall....sometimes Hard enuff to land me Flat on my ass...

Last year I got my Pain Levels Way down, but my endurance barely Increased...so even tho I would have perhaps less Pain, I would still get Weak, or these stupid Nightly "Mini Flares"...My Brain wants me to GO GO GO...Lets Flippin GO already !! I Like to get stuff done NOW...but if I push, I am down...Christ !!

so Here I sit...just exsisting within my Husbands Life basically...having nothing of my own so much anymore...but, am still walkin the Maze...lookin for a Path that will lead in the Direction I want to Go...

I have found some things over the last few years that I never thought that "I" would Enjoy...Like our gardens, flower beds...WoW how relaxin it is to get out there right as the sun is coming up...

and I DO have ALOT more time now...sure wish i could have had this Kinda time a Long time ago !! when I felt Good enuff to Take advantage of it all !!

so On we go...reInventing and just Plain old Venting !! we will have these days on and Off...just hopefully they will be soon more OFF...

Hugs this day girl !!

I guess I just have to find peace within myself..., it's just REALLY HARD to do when people close to me just don't understand. I'd just rather live far away from them, where they can't judge me...or at least I can't hear what they are saying.
I don't want to participate in any family gatherings because of it. It just takes so much energy for me to be strong and listen to what is said and take it in, and it takes more energy to defend myself.
I'm so done with that. I'd just rather not be in their lives anymore...

I Know...I don't know How many Times I have just wanted to Just Jump into my Monte Carlo, with a few belongings...and just drive off...for Real...I am So Tired of Feeling Obligated to "Join In"...I do say, No more now then i ever used to...or I just Plain ignore the Phone when it rings...

there are Times I still want to join in...but this is a Big family...and Ohhh all the Kids Love me...and my energy levels will lay me out flat for 2 days...yet sometimes it is FUN !! and I get So tired of having to miss out...and it is all Just VISCIOUS !!!!!!!!!

I don't feel like my in-laws love me anymore. I feel more like an outcast than ever..and I am not looking forward to going there for father-in-laws' birthday after knowing his true feelings about me, which is "She needs to get an F*ing job"
Gosh..it's like I need to go and "prove" to them how crappy I feel.. So I have a new plan.. I'm not getting fixed up to go there anymore.. I'm gonna go and look like crap and let my true sickiness shine through...
Then they can't say "You look like you're feeling okay"

Yeah, on hold.... NOT! You life has changed and you'll never again be what you were. You can help your future peace of mind by accepting this as much as you can.

So, like you would stay the same anyways?

You could try to be positive and take each day as a new adventure. I know it's real hard to be positive when you hurt or are foggy, etc... However, you have to live the moment and you have to be something so why not try to be happy?

Honestly, the way I feel right now, I would tell myself to go to Hell but I know sometimes it works.

Today I read that if you laugh outloud or smile, it tricks your brain into being happy.

Hi hun, I go through the anger and denial stage on a regular basis. My life does feel like it ended when I got fibro, I had a very high powered job in social services and now I cant work either partly due to pain and also the exhaustion that comes with it.

I go through patches of thinking my life is over but then I get my good days when I look at the positives and things that I can do. I certainly understand how you feel and cant really say anything to help other than you are not alone in feeling like this and to give you anice big caring hug x

This has been a problem for me too... Where do I belong? I am tired of hurting.. it has changed every aspect of my life.. It seems like I have had to re-do everything because of fibro..
I do craft to keep my mind occupied.. this has saved me.... the way I do this.. is go to yard sales and thrift stores and salvation army stores.. and look for anything that I might could re-paint, re-do.. something I might get that I could make something else out of...
Yes, it is hard to be realistic sometimes.. but what I done that has helped me.. is go through this message board and read all these posts.. some of these people here have been living with this for years and they are STill holding on. I hope you feel better. God Bless You! Lori

I have learned to cope and hope.

WhiteDolphin, I know EXACTLY what you mean! I've been in constant pain (as in no amount of morphine helps!) for over 3 1/2 years. I was so depressed and thinking that I just could not go on like this. I am taking an antidepressant and still feeling that my life is over! Since I am only 57 there are what seem to be a lot of years ahead of me and I simply could not imagine living them in this condition! Two months ago I started seeing a man who is licensed by our state to do acupuncture. While he has not yet been able to reduce my pain, he has been successful in helping what he calls my "spirit". What a change it has made for me. I guess you could say that now I am a HAPPY disabled person!! But I honsetly do know what you are going through. So many people look at me and see nothing visably wrong and so they asume that I am not really that sick or in that much pain. Also if we are up and around then we must not be that ill! People do not realize how much strength it takes for those of us who are suffering with FMS to simply get up and dressed each day!! But that is what is so nice about this web site. Here at DS we all understand this awful disease. So we can come here and bare our souls to each other and find comfort in knowing that we ARE understood. The key is that we keep communicating our feelings. By talking (or in this case writing) about our problems we can alleviate some of the frustration. Necie was so good in the way she shared some of her coping mechanisms. Every person who comes to this "forum" has so much to add/offer. People are happy to share any new atricles or medical papers re: FMS. So if you need to "talk" about this any time feel free to type your feelings. There are so many loving and caring people on this web site who will reach out to you and offer what help we can.