Good morning! Posting late Sunday night b/c... Well, today was The Day we had The Marital Talk.
And, frankly, all the stress and all the stress and all the stress.... means I'm down sick again. Stupid immune system refuses to be healthy when I tell it to be!
Short version? Hubby's dad laid it out as "Do you want more money, more than you want to be married and enjoying the life you've got?" And Hubby... concluded money is nice but after us basically being polite roommates for several days and he had to realize just how much 1. I do and 2. the support he gets from me *in* his daily job issues. (E.g., I ask how his day was, listen, offer feedback and hugs.) I think his dad also told him some stuff about the divorce between Hubby's parents... stuff that wasn't known previously... b/c Hubby when we sat down to talk? Looked really rattled. Penitent. Tears, emotion, and so forth. So here we are. Truce called, and he's realllllly sorry, but I'm basically leaving him on quasi-probation for a bit, just to be sure. I do know that my mom's recent near-death shook up Hubby, and I think he got caught up in how his family expects things to be done (many advanced degrees, big incomes, fancy houses, big overseas vacations, and la-di-dah stuff, you've heard me bitch about SIL often enough to know)....
B/c after all, you're meant to have ... "XYZ" ... by age (?)... then you are a failure and need to ditch all else to get that goal. Fear does tend to "reset" us to those childhood expectations.
Speak of childhood:
someone please help me :’( I need someone to talk me through this please. Preferably male.. please
I think it's just this time of year, ya know. It will be 11 years on Friday, the 19th...11 freaking years that I've tried to forget. So much good had happened in those years, but I just can't help to think that that one experience in my life influenced so many decisions... Decisions that I may never have made if it weren't for the douchebag. I dunno. It's in my mind. At least I'm admitting it....