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Monday Morning Mucky Check-in

Good morning! Posting late Sunday night b/c... Well, today was The Day we had The Marital Talk.


And, frankly, all the stress and all the stress and all the stress.... means I'm down sick again. Stupid immune system refuses to be healthy when I tell it to be!


Short version? Hubby's dad laid it out as "Do you want more money, more than you want to be married and enjoying the life you've got?" And Hubby... concluded money is nice but after us basically being polite roommates for several days and he had to realize just how much 1. I do and 2. the support he gets from me *in* his daily job issues. (E.g., I ask how his day was, listen, offer feedback and hugs.) I think his dad also told him some stuff about the divorce between Hubby's parents... stuff that wasn't known previously... b/c Hubby when we sat down to talk? Looked really rattled. Penitent. Tears, emotion, and so forth. So here we are. Truce called, and he's realllllly sorry, but I'm basically leaving him on quasi-probation for a bit, just to be sure. I do know that my mom's recent near-death shook up Hubby, and I think he got caught up in how his family expects things to be done (many advanced degrees, big incomes, fancy houses, big overseas vacations, and la-di-dah stuff, you've heard me bitch about SIL often enough to know)....



B/c after all, you're meant to have ... "XYZ" ... by age (?)... then you are a failure and need to ditch all else to get that goal. Fear does tend to "reset" us to those childhood expectations.


Speak of childhood:



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Replies

AutumnSong
AutumnSong

Oh Leo I am so sorry that the stress has made you sick. I am glad that hubby decided that he doesn't have it so bad after all. It is scary how what we are taught as a child can ruin our adulthood. I hope that with rest and time you will be back on the road to recovery. With all you have gone through with your mom and life in general for the past several months it doesn't surprise me that you are down. I am sending you lots of chocolate and stress free days.
AngelaJo
AngelaJo

Leo i hope you feel better soon and im glad things are better with you and your hubby!

I am checking in early because i got to be up at 6am stumble around drinking coffee for a bit and be out the door by 8am and on the road to rhinelander Wisconsin to the neuro optomologist to find out why i have all signs of glaucoma since i took topamax (5 doses only) and no glaucoma showing just all signs of it. If they put the prisms on my eye balls again im going to scream it hurts not matter how much they numb my eyes! Its been a year and half since my eyes went bad and im unable to drive since. This isnt fair, on top of all the physical and mental pain my eyes are bad now too as well and i cant even sit and read books like i love to its been a year and half sicne i sat and read an actual book........ Its the little things! I have page magnifiers but they arent very good. My eyes are painful much of the time, eyes are blurry and i see double majority of the time even with prism glasses. I will update you guys once im home, i have testing at 1030 then eye dr at 3. Doesnt help the fibro has been bad! I got the cookies made and first time making oatmeal raisin sugar free and they turned out great! *passes everyone cookies*
BlueSky
BlueSky

Leo, I still don't understand how feeling sorry for himself should equal punishing / ditching you. Glad your FIL talked some sense into him. Yes, he should definitely stay in the penalty box for a while. *throws rotten tomatoes at Mr. Leo*
I'm sorry all this stress with your mom and hubby drama made you sick. I hope you can relax during the week and do some self care. Sending a care package of chocolate cake and vit C your way!

Hubby and mom are both sick with colds. My husband stayed in bed all day except when he came with me to run down the street to bring some food to a sick family in our church. We had enough leftovers to bag up and take to them.

My R knee has been killing me today, a good sharp stabbing pain that sort of catches me off guard. I called the VA on Friday and was told the nurse will be back in Tuesday, to call her about my x-ray results. We've had high winds and rain today. I have acupuncture tomorrow and hope to go to the pool for a quick swim if the weather is OK.
Leo
Leo

Angela, don't forget to point out that it might be a combo of meds, b/c my docs get so focused on *one* that theyf orget I'm on *more*! And I agree, that SUCKS.

Blue, to figure out Hubby, you have to know his background... and he's the black sheep of the family for not being ... Well, like his sister, my oh-dear-SIL we all know and cringe from in Normal-Ville. Expectations for him were set so (ridiculously) high regardless of his own hopes/wishes, and marrying me meant estrangement from his mom and sibs for several years that never really healed fully with the siblings. Believe me, this is some crazy stupid expectations they have in his family. I'm talking, "You should be in Congress or running a university department as its chair or (fill in another blank)". I mean, Hubby never fit that as a kid and I think this whole thing... My mom being ill and all...

Does it make sense that maybe he on some level thought if he "redid" everything, it'd mean he wasn't pushing 50 and his parents weren't old and he'd get some magical pat on the head from some Deified Concept of Success?

I know FIL told him (b/c he's told me) he'd rather have had less professional success and a more loving relationshiop with his kids, if he had a do-over.

Autumn, I swear, I've had the same damn flu for a year now, and my flu shot plus all this? ARGH!

OK, enough about me....

Blue, congrats on a successful potluck, and healing vibes to your knee:-)
Autumn, big purrs for the day.
Maynard30
Maynard30

So glad to her that hubby is coming to his senses and realizing that money is not everything! Also glad I grew up playing outside, skinning knees and such in the mud rather than hooked to some electronic gadget.

Angela, I agree with Leo. Make sure you point that out to the doctors. They very rarely see outside of the box they make!

Blue, sorry to hear you are surrounded by germs and have a hurt knee. I will keep my fingers crossed that you don't get the cold too! It stinks that you have to wait till Tuesday for results. I hate that whole waiting game crud.

Sorry I haven't checked in. DS wouldn't let me check in via mobile device and that was all I had access too in the hospital for a few days. They put me in to get the costo under control and to give me the flu for which I had to return to the hospital because my body would not stop expelling anything I put in it and would not let me breathe as a result of all this excitement. Hubby of course got the flu as well so guess who had to push it yesterday instead of resting before returning to work? Yep, this woman. Men are such big babies! Love the hubby and all, but its best I am at work, if I had to listen to another day of his whining I may have suffocated him with his own pillow. (On second thought, the last thing I need is more fricken paperwork!)

So now I am left to basically try to not do anything that will irritate my ribs. Yep, that is the only solution they had to offer. Oh so not helpful! Oh well, at least I don't have the flu anymore; I have to count the little things. Oh and on that note, having the flu helped me loose the 3 pounds I had gained back so there is that! I am trying so hard to keep my mind along these lines rather than freaking out at the massive bills that are on their way just as I had almost paid off the previous. Trying to remind myself that I have some sort of value despite not being able to run, do much cooking/cleaning and having missed so much work. All of these things have created a pit inside me that I really don't need to go exploring.

Well... Happy Monday everyone!
idajoy
idajoy

Good Monday to all.

Leo, I'm so glad that your hubby become contrite and feels badly about what he said. Our childhoods do sure mess with us. I hope you feel better really soon. Have some healing hot chocolate.

Hi Autumn, glad to see you around again.

Angela, I sure hope your eyes can be helped. This has been so awful for you. Please keep us informed when you can.

Bummer about the colds in your house, blue. Hope you don't catch it. Wish your knees felt better. Hope the x-rays give some answers.

Daughter's in-laws left at 6am to go visit others relatives and will not be back until at least 8pm. I did make an egg bake this morning, but other than that, I don't have to cook today. I do have leftovers for hubby and I.

Yesterday went very well. Not a peep out of little grandson up in front of church. The party was great too. I was so tired by evening that I fell asleep while talking again. I was up by 3 this morning. Ugh.

I might get the SUV back today. The manager took it home for the weekend to make sure it works.

Daughter's in-laws leave tomorrow morning to head back to TX. Our DIL and grandson will be back here on Wednesday, then they fly back to NM on Friday. So that's my week. Then hubby tells me his employer and wife are flying in from Florida for one overnight with us next Tuesday. Just call me the "Happy Hostess."

Later......
Miki26
Miki26

Morning everyone. Leo, I'm glad your hubbys dad was able to talk some sense into him, and I definitely agree that the probation is a good plan for the immediate future. Hope you feel better and things just go uphill from here. I'm sorry I can't reply to everyone. We were out late because of the comedy show (which was great) and I didn't even sleep well for the few hours I was in bed. So I'm sleep deprived and still coughing a ton, and the phone is busy this morning
Wonderbaby
Wonderbaby

Good morning all,

Leo, I'm glad your hubby was finally able to let go of some of what has been building up inside of him. I bet, even though you do have him on a quasi-time out, that he feels a huge burden taken off his shoulders. But that quasi-time out will be good for him as he gets to "really" settle into the life he has known and loved. I'm glad he got to hear it from his dad also. But like you, my hubster sometimes doesn't "listen" to me either. He's got to hear it from someone else to make it click.

Good morning to you Autumn, hope your day is kind to you today.

Angela, I'm sure you're probably already out the door by now. Hope the trip to Rhinelander goes well. And that the docs can gets something figured out about your eye sight. My hubby's Dad lost most of his vision due to his disease, but it wasn't really thoroughly explained to the family. Basically the proteins in his body caused him to loose his eye sight along due to his complex familial spastic paraplegia he had. Or that is how we understood it. His sight was sometimes better, sometimes even something like eating apricots or taking an Ocuvite vitamin helped. It was strange, but what I do remember was how scared he was. Praying you have a safe trip.

Blue, I hope your knee is feeling better today. Mine just go on pain binges also. Nothing makes any sense, but painful for a week or two and then poof, it's gone.
Sorry everyone at your house is sick also. Prayers for you over there.

Maynard, wholly smokes girl! I cringe when I need to go into the hospital now....so many germs and etc. We have an appointment for our boys meds and well check tomorrow and I'd rather not go...with all of the crud going around. We just had strep last week...I'm still not 100% and I fear we'll bring home the tummy flu stuff going around.
And I'm sorry you had to choose between crumby paperwork or listening to your sick hubby also. Men really do crack me up. All big and strong and then when they get sick they whine and moan.
Praying your ribs feel better.

Ida, goodness girl, you're the hostess with the mostest!!! I'm glad the baptism went well for you yesterday. And you get a little down time while your guests are out today. Wow, I've never heard of this kind of VIP treatment for an SUV by an auto shop. Hope you get it back today.

Well, we went to look at houses over the weekend. I was a nervous wreck. I think my body was finally reacting to all of the excitement from the week before. Needless to say I had a doozie of a panic attack while touring an open house.

It was kinda strange. It was a new development and we walk in. Normally there is a realtor or someone there, but nope...this adorable little yellow lab mix comes running up to us. And grabs my hubby's shoe as he was taking them off. And before I could get mine off, the dog sat down on my feet and just whined and whined. So I quickly was trying to pet it and calm it down. Then the owner came out. My hubby quickly asked if we were in the right place, and the guy said that he was the builder himself and introduced us to his dog. But he dog wouldn't leave me alone. He quickly ran and got his toys and was trying to soothe me. We talked with the guy for a few moments, realized that the house we were in was not the home we intended to check out as it was about $100-$200K over budget. (eeks!) Big dumb google maps!

And when I walked down the stairs to check out the family room, as I was coming back up, the panic attack went into full rage. Chest pains and all (which is another new symptom). I knew it wasn't my heart...I go up and down our stairs w/out problems here. And my hand was shaking even as we left our house to head up there. (severe hand shakes are another symptom).
Lovely house though. (sigh).

But the first house we toured was amazing. It felt like 'home' to us 4 level split, huge kitchen, lots of storage, 5bed/3 bath. So we may put in a bid contingent on a long closing. I "highly" doubt the owners would accept it. But it's worth a shot, right? If it's meant to be, it's meant to be. Nothing about this whole process has been normal though.

And yesterday I was still reeling myself in after that grand old panic attack.

I hope today is good and kind to all of you. Happy Monday hugs!
Wonderbaby
Wonderbaby

Morning to you Miki....glad you had a good time last night. I love going out to comedy shows.
basketballmom23
basketballmom23

Leo, I am so glad you finally had “the talk” but so sorry all of the stress has made you ill. I hope you shake what ails you soon. Take care of yourself. BTW, I am glad I grew up playing in mud than on a phone. My 19 year old goes berserk when she doesn’t have service. I often tell her to put her damn phone down. Sonny can manage without his, thankfully.

Hi Autumn.
Angela, good luck at your appointment. I hope you get some good answers and help for your vision.

Blue, I haven’t talked to you in ages. I hope your knee is feeling better today. Stabbing pain is not good. I hope you are able to enjoy a swim today. Take care.

Maynard, sorry you were hospital and had the flu. I hope you are feeling better. My hubby has had a cold for a week and you’d think he had something much worse!! Please take care of yourself.

You are the hostess with the mostess, Ida. I hope doing all of this isn’t bothering you too much. I am so glad that church and the party went well. I see your Packers lost to Kel’s Vikings. It really stinks that Aaron Rodgers might be out for the season though. I instantly thought of you two when I heard this on the radio this morning.

Please take care of yourself Miki. I hope the phone doesn’t ring too much and your cough gets better.

I had a busy weekend. I am at work to rest today!!

Take care all.
wvgirl82
wvgirl82

Leo, so glad hubby’s dad set him straight. I’ve recently realized that I had wanted more for my daughter, but then I realized that life isn’t about money and recognition and degrees and high-paying jobs, it’s about enjoying the life you have and not worrying about how much money you could be making. I know it must be hard for him watching his sister and how much money she has and what she can do, but she also seems to be not all there and I’m sure he is much happier than she is with all her money. I hope you feel better soon.

AngelaJo, good luck with your appointment today. I hope the doctor can help you. Glad you have cookies for the trip.

Blue, I hope you don’t get their colds. Glad to hear that you had food leftover and that you could help the family down the street. I hope you get some news about the X-rays so they can help you.

Maynard, at least you have a sense of humor about all your troubles. Yes, men are such babies. I’m glad you went to work so you wouldn’t suffocate him with his pillow. Lol I just like to think baby steps in getting everything taken care of. It will happen eventually. I hope you have a good day.

Ida, so glad everything went so well with the baptism yesterday. Sounds like everyone had a great visit and glad you are going to get some rest in between all the hosting activities. It’s a shame that we get so tired from these activities. I totally understand where you’re coming from.

Miki, I’m glad the comedy show was so great, but it’s too bad you couldn’t get more sleep. I hope you have the energy to make it through the day. At least being busy means you probably won’t fall asleep at your desk.

Wonder, sorry about all the trouble you had during the open house. I’ve never heard of someone having their dog at an open house. I’d be afraid to have one there with people coming in and out all day. I hope things go well with your bid. If not, at least now you know what you want.

BBmom, I hope you get lots of rest today at work.

Kel, I hope you’re doing okay today. You know you can vent away all you like here. We get you.

I’m still exhausted. I felt bad all weekend and my stomach felt gurgley the whole time. I did get things done yesterday, but was able to take a nap. I’m so tired today that my eyes burn. And my head feels foggy. I was able to do head traction last night and I think that helped. I felt like my neck was knotted up on the right side and I had a constant headache, but feeling better now with that. I’ll have to do that more often. All the rain doesn’t help and at least it will stop this afternoon. I hope everyone has as good a day as you can.

Susan
AutumnSong
AutumnSong

Just a quick fly-by. I am going to get ready and get up to the doctors early so I won't have to wait so long for the flu shot. I just wanted to say that I have appreciated all of you so much these past weeks. I don't know how I would have made it this far without you. Reading your posts gave me strength to keep fighting that I didn't have in me. So here is a huge hug for each of you. I will try to check back later.
puppymom06
puppymom06

Hi all! I am trying to keep up, but the boss is out on vacay so I am pulling 10+ hour days at work. I think I missed most of what went on this week. Also had an event on my Saturday "off" that took several hours of my time. Working from home today as the office is technically closed, but I have to prep for tomorrow since I will be pulling double duty.

Leo -- Glad you are on a positive course. We have rather decided that the less PuppyDad's family knows about what is going on in our lives, the better. Of course I have been hearing for the last several weeks my MIL scream at him during their weekly phone convo, "Did you call your sister???" He has not. When I asked he explained that we have voice mail and she knows our number, so she could d*@n well call us. Something's up :).

AngelaJ0-- I have similar symptoms. They say it is part of my migraines. I also saw 2 neuro-opthomolgists. I hope this is not what you have and they can help you.

Everyone else -- I will try to catch up. Hope everyone is hanging in there! Glad to see everyone is doing "winter prep" and getting flu shots, etc.
basketballmom23
basketballmom23

Hi Wonder. I like dogs, but if one came up to me at an open house, I think I would freak out a bit. Sorry you had a panic attack. They surely suck. I agree, if the house you like works out then it is meant to be. Good luck at taking the boys to the doctors for meds. Yes, there is a lot of yuck going around.

Susan, how do you do head traction? I need that. Our weather is on a big swing today which makes me just want to be home. It was sunny and nearly 80 yesterday and won't get out of the 40's today and rainy. Ouch! I hope you have a decent day.

Take care of yourself Autumn. Good luck with the flu shot. I need to get mine Thursday. I certainly have a love/hate relationship with it.

I just want a blanket and a snuggly dog. Mya (my pic) is not snuggly yet. I am hoping as she gets older she will start liking. it. Soup sounds good too, but I don't have that with me today. Oh well. It is Monday. Oh, I didn't tell you all...Sonny finished 1st in his class in our local race series and looks to be finishing 5th in the National Series (dependent on how he does on the 29th). I am very proud of him.
twinmomab
twinmomab

Leo, I'm so glad hubby is coming to his senses. He better be realllly sorry, and realize how lucky he is. Big hugs of comfort to you as you heal from the stress and sickness. I wish you would see the doctor while you are running a fever and have a few blood test done, it doesn't sound good honey. I love the picture, I plan on showing my girls later. I'm always telling them to live life, and they will not have a phone for a very long time if I have anything to do with it. I point out to my kids all the time the parents that are stuck to their phones instead of playing with their kids and living life. It's so ridiculous!

Hi autumn, I hope you are still on the up and up. I'm always wondering how you're doing. I hope you can enjoy reading again.

Angela, I was wondering if your eyes were any better? I'm sorry they are not. I hope your day goes good and you get some answers and help from the appointments.

Blue, sorry to hear that your knee is acting up so much. It sure doesn't help when everybody else stays in bed sick from a cold, and we have to keep pushing everyday through fibro which is much worse than a cold. With that said, I hope you don't get the cold. Hugs

Maynard, you poor thing you go to the hospital to get help and I can't believe you came down with the flu. I'm so glad it's gone now and you can escape to work away from the whining. ;-)

ida, I'm so glad it went well yesterday, but sorry that you have to entertain your husbands boss next Tuesday. It still sounds like you have too much going on, but I am glad you have a break today. Your body needs that time to recover. Rest and rest

Miki, I'm too old for a comedy club on a work night, lol. I'm glad you had fun, I sure hope your day goes smooth for you.

Wonder, I hate panic attacks. I felt like one this morning. It sounds like that 1st house was super. I hope the house hunting going forward turns out much better if that offer isn't enough.

Hi BBmom, I like the avatar picture. I hope today turns out to be a great rest day for you. I come to work for the same reason, but then it makes my evening so stressful b/c I have no time to fix dinners and lunches for the next day, time to enjoy karate, time to do homework and studying with the girls, it just goes by too fast and stresses me out so much, that's why I hate working.

Susan, I'm sorry you felt so bad all weekend. It sounds like once the rain is gone maybe you'll have a chance at feeling a little better. I think my neck is causing a migraine in my right eye I feel for you. I hope your neck and all other pains ease up.

It took me forever to type this, so I'm sure I missed people during it. I'm having a rough go at it this morning. The girls stressed me out this morning, my pain is so high, and tomorrow is a full day of appointments, that's not helping my stress level. Addison's appointment is at 11am tomorrow, this is for her constant bladder infections (it took 3 months to see this specialist). Maddie has an appointment at 1:45 for not feeling good all the time. She's always complaining and now her teachers are calling me saying that she is always complaining. I'm seeing the same doctor as Maddie for my shortness of breath. Maybe he'll have another idea to help me. Oh and then flu shots while we're there. I can't wait to get tomorrow over with.

Have a good day everyone!
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