I try to do it one day at a time. No matter how loving and caring my friends and my kids are I know that when I cancel on them it disappoints them (especially the girls) so any more I try to do it just a day at a time and when I feel up to it I will call them and suggest lunch or the mall ect. Some days tho I cant get out of doing things so I just make sure I take the meds before I leave the house and depending upon who I am with I amy also smoke before leaving. That way I know I am good for at least hour or so.

What do you do about vacations, etc.

LMBO whats a vacation? I havent been on one in years. Am gonna try for one tho in January. The hardest for me is - I am dads caregiver so I do 8 weeks with him and then 1-2 weeks at home. There is a 12 hour distance between my house and his and I no longer have a license. It never fails that I flare usuallly on the way home on the greyhound bus so my 1-2 weeks of hometime is usually spent in bed or on the couch. Makes it even worse when bus breaks down or is late ect and I get stranded half way between his house and mine and am forced to get hotel room (this happens quite frequently) I get all cozy in hotel bed and then never have the energy to want to get up the next morning to catch bus home.

I know what you mean. For the past few months, I have been dependent on using a Cane and even a walker for numerous medical issues I have had thrown at me lately. There are times when I feel like a box of Morton Salt "When It Rains,It Pours".. it seems all of my pains and aches and other isssues decide to bombard me at once.
I have just learned to take them in stride and try to deal with them one at a time.
When my embalance issues are raging, I depend on my cane and walker; trying to limit my activities that include going places where the walker or cane could cause me problems.
Visual or embalance issues can be hazardous when you have to navigate tight spots and even steps.
I know this posting may not be suited for everyone, but I want to get across that most of the time it is up to us to adapt to the situation and if needed, we have just realize that at times, we cannot do what we want to do or what is expected of us.
We have to take care of ourselves and not put ourselves in a situation that could be bad for us.
Take care

I did in the beginning. Finally one day I decided that I could not live my life being afraid to do things, and now I make plans and just allow myself to look forward to things to come. Jan, don't be afraid to live your life the best way you can. You shouldn't allow fear to run your life for you. Take the tiger by the tail.

Its been really hard for me to keep alot of my plans..I do alot of advocating for universal healthcare and I have to say no so many times or I make plans to go and then I have to change them.I have come to the point where Im just super honest and I say maybe Ill be there I can nevr be sure...I understand how you feel..It tough...Im glad you wrote this.......Much love to you

Thank you guys. Yoy all gave me really good advice. I'm going to take some time to think about it all. I definitely so not want to live in fear of the future or anything, and I think the approach of just being upfront and honest about things is the way to go. If people don't understand, there's nothing I can do about it and I need to realize that those are their issues and I'm not responsible for them.

Jan I just bought tickets this AM to see Celine Dion for Sept 2008..lol
Talk about long range plans!
I plan my life as if I were "normal".. If something comes up and I cant do what I planned ( and that hardly ever happens because I usually just push myself) well I guess that can happen to anyone right?
I remember when my Aunt Helen was 90..she had seen a really expensive reclining chair and was trying to decide if she should buy it..her thinking was would she live long enough to enjoy it..She was NOt one to waste money.. well she asked her Doctor..thinking he would tell her
how long she might live..HE said "..do you want the chair?"..and she yes.. HE said HELEN buy the chair" She lived to 97..
I think we will should all buy the chair and dont worry what the future may bring..

WE CAN'T GIVE UP ON LIFE ANY MORE THAN WE CAN GIVE UP ON OURSELVES. STEP OUT OF THE BOAT AND WALK. I WOULD TRY TO BE SURE THAT I CAN MAKE MYSELF AS COMFORTABLE AS I CAN IN THE CAR. HAVE ALL YOUR LITTLE LUGURIES ALL WITH YOU AND BE SURE IS GOING BE CAR THAT YOU GET TO GET OUT AND WALK, I CANNOT IMAGINE RIDING FOR 4 OR 5 HOURS W/O ALKING, I WOULD BE NO GOOD TO ANYONE AND THE TRIP IS ALL ABOUT HAVING FUN, SO JUST DON'T OVER DO ANYTHING...LOVE...HELEN

I have 2 grandchildren and I love to watch them I used to never tell my daughter no if she wanted to go out even if I was having a flare-up. Finally I realized it wasn't being fair to the little ones when I watched them and was barely able to get out of the bed so I had a sit down with my daughter and explained Fibro to her so she would understand that even though I may look alright I feel like hell and don't need to be babysitting. She now understands and when I say no she asks me if there is anything she can do for me. I really do have a great daughter.

Fear Jan' I think you have come to the right conclusion. That is how I have come to understand how I must live my life. I try not to think of what I cannot do and make the plans I want to make. If I can't do it = well maybe next time. There was one thing I always wanted to do and that was to go white water rafting. The thought still thrills me. I think I would still try it, but only in not so rough water. I have the same philosophy as Death2me. I just refuse to deal with anything out of fear. It is an empowering feeling. Gentle hugs to you, a gentle person. sue