Sometimes I hate this disease so much. It's a mean cruel life sucker that is stealing the best years of my life. It steals our dreams. I used to want to be a missionary...to go serve the poorest of the poor. It's not supposed to be like this, I'm ony 25 years old. I can't do the things other people do at my age. They stay out and play games and go hiking and sky diving and white water rafting. They stand around and talk and they don't have to sit down after five minutes. They seem to have boundless energy and I just can't be like them. All my friends are in their 40's and 50's. I can't keep up with the young people. It shouldn't be that way and sometimes it just hurts so bad that i just want to curl up in a ball under the covers and cry. I am so sick of hurting every single minute of every single day. Going to walmart and carrying a purse shouldn't be exhausting. I don't want to lay in this bed for the rest of my life but somedays its all i can do to get up and go to the bathroom. This is an evil cruel disease. What do you do when you have nothing left to fight with, when you have no energy left to give to keep going. Some days I wish I didn't have to wake up. I'm just so tired of fighting fighting fighting all the time. Why does it have to hurt so bad!
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