I feel so horrible. I don't know why? What did I do to cause this? Why doesn't anyone who say they love me care enough to help me? Except on this site I feel totally alone. I feel like a total failure. I am a horrible mother. I can't do anything with my kids anymore without pain. They are going to remember me as a lazy, boring, whinning, mom. I'm messing up their childhood. I wonder if I just should have let Duane take them and me to just be a small part in their lives. And Duane, we get back together, and I get sick. I know he thinks I tricked him into letting me back. He just won't say it but I can tell. Why do I even bother to be around. I try my best but it is just never enough. I'm a broken down pile of crap. Sorry to rant but How does anyone not feel like a waste of skin?
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