I find in the last year or so, my ability to want to be able to clean my house has gone downhill, an i don't know why. Is it the fibro or is it just me? I really don't think it is just me as i have always been a clean freak, i would clean my house every day and even scrubbled my kitchen floor sometimes twice a day. I wasn't happy unless i was cleaning, and now i have to talk myself into doing it and all it would take is one simple thought of doing something else first, than its out the window. Try again another day i guess. How can something I love to do, or loved to do i guess be affected so badly by fm? I find now that my job is done for the season, it is worse, i just don't seem to want to do anything, and that depresses me alot. Sometimes i just want to sleep than i get mad at myself for sleeping to long. I even have to convince myself to go to my doctors office monthly, and that is definetly not me, I used to run to the doctor when i noticed any little thing. How fm changes ones life and there outlook on life in every way, shape and form. It dominates, controls, overtakes, shapes, your whole life style. Sorry for going on, but it makes me so upset sometimes. I will be glad when Spring comes so that i can go back to work, as i work at a National Park Golf Course, and i love it. Its the customer interaction I guess, and it fulltime, somtimes 50-60 hours per week. But I am out of the house and around people i enjoy being with, so what the heck.
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