HONEY WE ALL KNOW HOW YOU FEEL. HUGS

have no idea how many times I have said it...how many different ways I have begged for it...we have a new life now...and tho i still hold out hope that one morning I will wake up and all will be well again...I am trying to accept a new life so I can concentrate on finding all the best stuff to at least make this life more tolerable...not an easy thing...I want my life back as well...i do not wish to be 25 again...I do not wish for many things...but this i wish...to live out my life without the pain...but, I have had pain now for so very long it has literally become a part of who i am...and that my friend I have discovered is not all bad...i am so much more compassionate...understanding...this life has slowed me almost to a crawl...so while I am crawling along i take alot more notice as to what is REALLY happening around me...this IS Our life for Now...and tho we are sometimes forced to live it from our knees...we have to live it just the same...so lets take all the good we can from it...cause as bad as it is...there are some good points to it as well...

Hugs to you my friend, Bonnie

I feel your pain oh so well. I want my life back. Yes, before I knew I had fibro, I said so many times that I will just do it tomorrow. Now I know better. Tomorrow never comes. Well, it comes, but not with the feeling of being well enough to change things and take my life back. I feel like I am now just waiting to die. I'm not being suicidel, I just mean that I am only just going to be sitting here and existing with no life until I die.

Me too!!! This is so ridiculous! This condition is leaving me with memories of things I used to do and none of them were out of this world feats--going shopping all day with the girls-can't now, no energy & worse, no money; entertaining--nope, don't feel like it, plus am no longer in my house, had to sell b/c kept missing days at work which=no pay, so I'm in an apt.; dating-well to be honest I wasn't really setting the world on fire in that area, so it's not that big a loss. lol Anyway, its just so hard because doing the most menial chores become so time consuming. My apartment is clean, but it's nowhere near as clean and decorated as I'd like it to be. Oh well.

Believe it or not, I believe I will indeed get my life back, better than ever and even though it's hard, I hope you ladies will keep the faith as well.

Like you I used to be Super Mom, worked full time, volunteer work, ran child to every function. etc but enjoyed that life to the fullest. I was living. But then my platlett count went to 1 million and that was the end of my life as I knew it. It made the FM and other issues much worse. Yes I'd like my life back, I feel displaced. Nothing happens by coincidence, there is always a reason.

Wow you are me!! or I am you, I too am grieving my old life and having a hard time coming to terms with the fact that it ain't coming back. My house is a wreck, my office (at my husband and my business) is a mess and I would have been fired by now if not for working with my husband. My husband is trying very hard to deal with this but at times slips into the I just don't get it mode. I am new here and your post has made me realize I am not the only one with these thoughts.

no, you are definitely not the only one who would LOVE their life and for that matter their body back the way it was before suffering from fibro. I was seeing a therapist for a few months and she told me that I needed to accept my limitations and concentrate more on things I could still do at least from time to time to bring joy to my life instead of always focusing on the negative. not an easy feat I know but it does make more sense to try to accept what hand you have been dealt and move on from there. none of us can help the fact that we just can't be the people we were before to everyone in our life especially ourselves. when the pain and depression is so bad you can't really see the good I just pray that tomorrow is a better day. gentle hugs and prayers to you all!

Me as well I was so involved ..Now I cant keep my commitments I cant make tentive plans..I cant go out dancing I use to love to dance.I miss all these things so much...I have resorted to make the simple dinners I use to love to do gormet cooking.I know how we all feel.But theres always hope.And I relish in that I have a ton of hope....I pray that all of us do........

I think your sentiment is shared by all of us here at DS, if only we could go bavk, instead we have to go forward with the hand we have currently been dealt, makint the best of it hour to hour.

Thanks ladies,Glad I'm not alone.I would'nt wish this on anyone,but its good to know I'm not alone((((HUGS)))

ME TOO I WANT MY LIFE BACK THIS IS NOT FAIR AT ALL TO ANY OF US.
DARN IT
LOVE TRISH

I understand.

We can't grieve for our old lives...what's in the past, should stay in the past. I look in the mirror now and think "my god, what happened?" I went from 130lbs, top physical shape, gorgeous skin, large chest to 100lbs heavier, wrinkles, age spots, bags under my eyes, breast reduction and covering up grey hairs" It's taken me 22 years but I realized that I was either punishing myself for not being a "whole person" and comfort eating which made me gain weight. I reclaimed my life by going to the doctor...getting her to run every test, and if necessary twice or three times as well as getting my hair done, buying something "just because" and starting hobbies I find I can do and take joy in. I was harder on myself than anyone could ever be. Why do we do that to ourselves?

Celebrate the little victories you do every day. Keep searching for solutions that work for YOU! If you need pain pills, then you need them. No biggie. I used to not take or try anything thinking I was so strong. Boy, was that stupid! LOL Also, if I didn't take anything, tell anyone or complain, then I didn't really have FM then, right? WRONG! FM leeched into my life until it was right up in my face.

Don't ever give up hope that a solution will be found.

Some nights...when i DO sleep, I dream I'm jogging...because after working a 10 hour day, that would be my stress reliever. Now, walking with a cane and not working, I feel lost, useless and alone.....
HOWEVER, I am finding, as the years go on...since my diagnosis (10 years ago), there are other parts of "me" coming to the surface that I didn't know existed. As Carrie says...don't give up...you may not have that VERY same life you had before...but you may find something different, EVEN BETTER...as time goes on. The one thing that NO ONE can take away from you....is your HOPE!

Don't let it slip away. Hang in there. Every day try to do something for yourself...treat yourself like your best friend.

love and hugs,

Morus

I've said those words a million times! I want to put on my gear and go fight a fire, then go back to the station and talk about it with my buddies. I want to drive an ambulance into the night, sicren screaming, to some gravel road in the middle of nowhere and save someone's life, or hold the hand of someone who is dying, if that is all that can be done. I want to put on a pretty outfit, pantyhose and high heels and makeup and go out to dinner, and then dancing. I want it all back!!!!I WANT IT ALL BACK!! Most days I can do the 'it'll get better, there's hope, it could be worse, I'm grateful for what I still have' routine, but the truth is, my heart and soul are screaming I WANT IT ALL BACK!

I've said those words a million times! I want to put on my gear and go fight a fire, then go back to the station and talk about it with my buddies. I want to drive an ambulance into the night, sicren screaming, to some gravel road in the middle of nowhere and save someone's life, or hold the hand of someone who is dying, if that is all that can be done. I want to put on a pretty outfit, pantyhose and high heels and makeup and go out to dinner, and then dancing. I want it all back!!!!I WANT IT ALL BACK!! Most days I can do the 'it'll get better, there's hope, it could be worse, I'm grateful for what I still have' routine, but the truth is, my heart and soul are screaming I WANT IT ALL BACK!