Ok people so everyone here has had their rant and rave session and I've always responded in kindness...so now is my turn. It's not a person or a situation that's really bothering me. Its the fact that I feel like my body is turning on me and I just can't take it anymore. I really feel like I'm losing my marbles here and I'm sick of crying. Besides all the pain and trying to take this med and that med I have something else that's bothering me. I've suffered from ringing in my ears for quite some time...but now it's SO BAD to the point where it's BOTH ears and they ring at such a high frequency and so loud that it's drowning out a lot of stuff. I have to turn up the tv twice as loud...my fiance and step son say I shout a lot of the time...and I've stopped talking on the phone because sounds that close to my ears make the ringing WORSE!! I can't get in to see an ear nose and throat doctor until jan 8th. I just sat there in the dark and sobbed tonight because I can't take it anymore. Now don't take this in anyway like i'm planning anything stupid but I have to be very blunt...I think this is the most depressed I have ever been...it's almost like my body is torturing me. The only way to make the ringing calm down is by taking my pain meds and make myself groggy so I CANT pay attention to the noise. Its kinda like when you have an old tv and you can tell its on by that soft but very highpitched tone it gives off....magnify that a zillion times and that's what I've been living with every single day for months. It started even before I got on these meds so I know its not a side effect. Please say a prayer for me guys...god I'm even crying right now...sorry.
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