My husband came home from work and started telling me about a great barbeque restaurant that he and his female co-worker went to for lunch today and I completely lost it! I told him how jealous I am that he can go out to lunch and enjoy his job, and look forward to the future, and get praise from his clients everyday, and the fact that he is not in pain, and that I spent one hour making f**king oatmeal cinnamon pancakes and we ate without him, and how I hate the damn kids and all their screaming and whining and "mom,mom,mom,mom" and by the time he gets home the worst is over and the dishes are done and the house is straightened up and the kids homework is done and our youngest son has completely finished acting out and is now acting like a beautiful angel, and how he gets to come home and work on a project or whatever, and how I hate my life and I hate my body and I hate the person that I have become with this bitch of a disease. And then..... I cried and cried and cried and could not apologize enough because my husband really is the best man in the whole world and I realized that I forgot to take my Effexor today (for depression) and how I totally suck.
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